When you move from DC to Maryland you need a new driver’s license and new tags for your car and have two months to do this. Naturally I have been putting off the chore, so this week, with only a few weeks to spare, I decided to go to the Maryland DMV to get the new tags and driver’s license. How hard could this be? Thousands of people probably move from DC to the Maryland suburbs every year. I went online to their website, read everything, and headed for the DMV, only a couple of miles away, carrying all the necessary documents– proof of identity, place of residence, evidence of car insurance and car title.
The line for customer service had about 50 people ahead of me, but since there were four agents behind windows answering questions, it was moving quickly. The huge office had something like 35 windows with agents helping customers who already had appointments. Scores of people were sitting in the lobby peering up at screens which showed the appointment number being called and the window to report to. The customer service line slowed down when one of the agents left for a lunch break, followed by another exit, but still in “only” 30 minutes I arrived at the desk for instructions. The first available appointment was in three days and I took it, then confirmed with the agent that I had with me all that was required– a passport, car title, DC driver’s license, and evidence of car insurance and asked if there was anything else I needed. She smiled, shook her head, saying I was in good shape, booked me, gave me an appointment sticker, and off I went back to Collington.
Three days later I arrived about a half hour before my scheduled appointment, checked in, confirmed my arrival at the appointment machine, and settled in on the first row staring up at the screen along with 50 or 60 other expectant customers. I remembered that this was the same facility I had been to years before when I took our Afghan refugee friend to get her drivers license (aided by a consultant/translator who answered every question for her.) Hey, if Mariam could get her drivers license without studying and with limited English language experience, certainly it would be easy for me to get a Maryland license, picturing that in an hour or so I would be driving back to Collington, smiling, with new Maryland tags and drivers license.
When my number popped up on the screen, I shuffled over to Window 25. Behind the glass wall was a small woman, wearing a covid mask, who greeted me with a slight accent, which sounded to me like she might have been from India. The waiting room was packed by this time, creating insufferable ambient noise, requiring me to ask her to repeat everything she said. With disgust in her voice, she shouted instructions to turn over all the required documents, which I proudly did—DC license, passport, car insurance, car title and two letters to me mailed to my Collington address —everything I thought I needed according to the website instructions plus more– a printout from Collington showing that I was current on my monthly fee.
“Where is your social security card?” she asked in a tone that was starting to sound hostile.
“I don’t have the card,” I replied. “In fact, I am 83 years old and have never been asked for it as far as I can remember. Not in my entire life.”
She scowled and continued looking through the other material.
“Well, without a social security card, you are not getting a license, but that is the least of it.”
“Excuse me? Why do I need a social security card to get a license?”
She did not respond to that question but followed by stating I needed to show two “proofs of identity.”
I pointed to my DC license and my passport.
“I am not able to accept either one since they do not show you live in Maryland.”
“Excuse me.”
“The big issue is that you do not have any definitive documents that show you live in Maryland.”
I pointed to the two letters addressed to me at my Collington address that were shown on the website as sufficient documentation.
“The letters addressed to you must be from a federal or state agency,” she snarled.
“Well, what about the printout from Collington showing that I am current on my monthly fee?”
“That is not sufficient. You have to provide the signed lease that you have for your apartment or a deed of trust showing you own your home. Period. No exceptions. It says so in my instructions. Now leave so I can help other customers.”
When I explained that I lived in a continuing care retirement community only a couple of miles away and that I did not have a lease or deed of trust but a “residency and care agreement” about 40 pages long, she shrugged her shoulders and scorned.
“Well,” she said “I do not know anything about a communal care community or whatever you call it, but if you do not show me a lease, you are not getting a Maryland drivers license or new tags. What is it that you do not understand about this? Now leave, and besides you also have to show me a social security card. Until you can show me a formal signed lease—and it has to be the original, not a copy” — and can show me a social security card, no license. Now leave! And don’t even think about coming into this building without your social security card and a real lease.”
I sat there in stunned disbelief, then grabbed my cane and with hunched shoulders shuffled out the door toward my car, wallowing in self pity. But that did not last long. This is a declaration of war and I have a lot of weapons in my arsenal. Since this regrettable incident, I have meticulously studied the requirements on the DMV website and have learned that a social security card OR a 1099 social security tax statement is required–God only knows why–and I have one of those, plus I have had experiences like this before and plan to use my “I want to see your supervisor” routine, which if you keep demanding supervisors as you work your way up the corporate or governmental ladder always gets results. Who knows, I might even get to the Governor of Maryland, who seems like a really nice guy.
So my next step is to arm myself with the vast Collington Residency and Care Agreement and enter the DMV prepared to fight to the finish. I am confident that I will eventually prevail. I will keep you posted.
I know that some of you are asking the question, what is it about Joe Howell, that these kinds of things always tend to happen to him.
I can only reply asking the same question, “Why Me, Oh Lord?”
To be continued….
Oh Joe!!
Who knew this would be so complicated?
Bureaucracy schmoooctracy!!!
Another Rigamarole has begun!!
What About Joe!
Woe-is-me-ism personified!
Even so, another great story….
I’ll send you a WWII Chaplain’s card!
Who still has their SS card?!
Very few. And the DMV is holding firm, saying they do not consider “communes” allowable for establishing residency. When I responded (a second time) that continuing care retirement communities are not “communes,” the agent I talked to said, “Well, I do not know what it is but whatever it is you are not getting a license.” So the saga continues. I am going to a different office this week and have a letter from Collington explaining what a residency and care agreement is. She says this has worked for many others at Collington. We will see. Now Embry is being rejected because she is not able to show proof of “change of name.” They are requiring a marriage certificate or equivalent. We were married sixty years ago, but they are for the moment holding firm. No marriage license, no drivers license. Lesson learned: Never move to Maryland.