Today is Ash Wednesday. This is the day that marks the beginning of Lent. All across the planet, Orthodox Christians, Roman Catholics, Episcopalians, and some Protestants will attend services and receive ashes marked by a priest on one’s forehead or cheek.

AI describes as Lent as follows:

Lent is a 40-day, solemn Christian season of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, beginning with Ash Wednesday (Feb 18, 2026) and leading up to Easter, dedicated to self-reflection, repentance, and preparation for the resurrection. It mirrors Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness, focusing on spiritual discipline and charity.

Just as I did an Advent Series last fall, I will post my reflections on Lent from a human perspective and its meaning for a secular world. Here is what you can expect:
• Part 1. The Universe
• Part 2. The Evolutionary Process on the Planet Earth
• Part 3. The Role of Religion among us Homo sapiens
• Part 4. The Judeo Christian Tradition
• Part 5. The Secular Meaning of the Crucifixion and Resurrection
• Part 6. Where to Go From Here

Thanks for following my posts. Your comments are welcomed!

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Did you see Ilia Malinin’s figure skating competition for the Olympic gold medal on Friday? The “QuadgOd,” as he calls himself, was a sure bet to win the gold. His other performances were spectacular, and he was the odds-on favorite.

I watched WETA’s evening news before turning to NBC to watch the evening Olympic coverage and in the “spoiler warning” learned of his several falls in the final event and his dismal, fifteenth place finish in that event, resulting in an eighth place finish overall, denying him the gold medal that the whole world thought was his for the asking. I was shocked. I had watched most of the figure skating competition and had become a big fan. He is probably one of the greatest figure skaters ever. My initial reaction was sadness. In fact, knowing the outcome I did not stay up to watch the replay of the event. Too painful. Poor guy, I thought, he will carry this with him for the rest of his life. Blowing the opportunity that was supposed to be his. He will always be remembered for this.

Now I know nothing about this guy or his personality. Anyone who gives himself the name “Quadgod” certainly must have a streak of arrogance. Perhaps his comeuppance could bring that down a notch or two. Or maybe he is mature enough to take this in stride, and to realize that he was never a god but only a mere human who was having a bad day and that the guy who did win the gold deserved it. Still, his meltdown in the 2026 Winter Olympics will surely be in his obituary if it appears in The New York Times 50 or 60 years from now.

But isn’t this what makes sports so addictive, and isn’t this a window into the life we all experience, one day at a time? You never know for sure what is going to happen or when you will get your comeuppance. This is the human condition. Also, life is hard. We humans stumble at times and then we dust off and keep trying. We make mistakes. We blow opportunities. We are brought down to size and then pick ourselves up and start over. What other options do we have? If this experience is a learning moment for Ilia resulting in more humility and wisdom, then it has served its purpose.

Those who learn from their mistakes and failures are the better off for it. Those who do not are doomed to repeat them again.

 

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So what is it about us Home sapiens? Embry and I have been adoptive parents to seven cats and one dog, two hamsters, two paraquets, and an untold number of goldfish and white mice and have not once observed the kind of outrageous behavior that the Tech Bros and other multi-billionaires have exhibited in amassing wealth–and protecting it– beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. When a dog or a cat–or for that matter practically any animal except for us humans–has gotten enough to eat, they step aside or move on. Sharing is not a problem. They do not hoard the food in a corner for themselves to eat at a later time like too many of us humans do. What is wrong with us?

Why do Tech Bros and other multi billionaires– including one whose net worth is now approaching $1 trillion dollars–need all this money? Does it make them happy to know that if they have countless billions stashed away that they have a rainy day fund to put food on the table during hard times? And are they happy? Certainly, Trump isn’t. Occasionally he manages a faint smile, but the dude is not a happy camper. Has anyone heard him laugh? His net worth has increased more than $1.5 billion since becoming president during his second term, but he seems angrier, meaner, nastier, and unhappier than ever.

So, of course, it is not about money per se but about power and self-worth and what money symbolizes. Beneath the veneer of power is often a deep seated insecurity. Perhaps we can fantasize what Trump would have been like if only he had had a better father.

The other mystery is why Trump’s MAGA base sticks with him. A lot of these people are working class people who have had to struggle from paycheck to paycheck. What do they see in a billionaire who boasts of his wealth and power? And what about the Christian Right, many of whom belong to evangelical churches? The fundamental message of Christianity is love and forgiveness and helping fellow human beings in need. How do they reconcile their religious convictions with the angry messages and actions of Trump, who is responsible for cutting off aid to poor countries, and tormenting, jailing and deporting immigrants, most of whom do not have a criminal record?

The question of the day therefore is this: Does greed “trump” love?

Here is what AI has to say about greed:

Self-Greed is an intense and selfish desire to acquire or possess more than one needs or deserves. It is characterized by an insatiable longing for wealth, power, food, or status, often at the expense of others. 

• Acquisitiveness. An overwhelming urge to continuously gain more.
• Self-Interest. A focus on personal accumulation that ignores the needs of others.
• Inordinate Desire. Wanting things to a degree that is unnecessary or unfair. In Christian theology, greed (or avarice) is one of the seven deadly sins, seen as a “spiritual disease” that leads to further immoral behavior. In psychology it is often described as a “bottomless pit,” where the individual is never satisfied regardless of how much they acquire. While modern thought sometimes distinguishes it from healthy self-interest, excessive greed is viewed as a social inhibitor that can lead to financial scandals and unethical business practices. 

So it appears that greed is part of the human condition. Our species appears stuck with it as a strange corollary of the evolutionary process. But are there ways for dealing with this problem now?
Here is the advice from AI as to how to deal with greed:

To counter greed, psychological and philosophical experts suggest shifting from an “accumulation” mindset to one of generosity and contentment. Counteracting greed involves identifying the root causes of your desires and actively practicing behaviors that prioritize community and self-awareness over material gain. 
1. Cultivate Radical Generosity. 
Generosity is the primary “antidote” to greed. 
• Give Regularly: Habitual giving—whether it is a small weekly donation or volunteering time—creates “habitual karma” for letting go.
• Give Spontaneously: Practice “spontaneous dana” (donations) to break the rigid attachment to your resources.
• Share Credit: Greed isn’t just about money; practice giving away non-material things like credit for a success or a sincere compliment. 
2. Practice Psychological Contentment. 
Shifting your internal focus can silence the “never enough” impulse. 
• Gratitude Practice: Actively thank God or life for what you already have to refocus on abundance rather than lack.
• Mindfulness: Use mindfulness to create space between a greedy impulse and your action. Observing the craving without acting on it allows you to see if it is filling a true need or an emotional void.
• Internal Goals: Replace external rewards (like wealth or status) with intrinsic values such as personal growth and community involvement, which lead to higher long-term well-being. 
3. Work on self-Reflection.
• Understand Your roots: Introspect to identify what triggers your greed. Is it fueled by insecurity, a need for status, or early life deprivation?
• Define “Enough”: Pre-determine your lifestyle standards instead of letting social comparison dictate them.

• Seek Help: If greed feels overwhelming or causes significant life distress, therapists can provide cognitive behavioral techniques like “coach talk” to challenge and restate greedy thoughts.

Thanks, AI! (You are one smart dude.)

So maybe there is hope for changing some people who succumb to greed, but it is probably a long shot for the predicament we find ourselves in now, given the cast of characters running our government and influencing policy makers. Yet we can’t just throw in the towel. We have to resist with all we have and work hard to get the bums thrown out. The starting point is the 2026 mid-term election. Give generously to Democratic candidates and speak out. Love your neighbor. Practice random acts of kindness. The stakes have never been higher.

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Finally! The ice and snow are starting to melt at Collington. I am almost 84 years old and am a born and bred Southerner. I was raised in Nashville, Tennessee, attended college and graduate school in North Carolina and spent 50 years living and working in Washington, DC. I remember one very cold snap growing up in Nashville but nothing like the deep freeze which has engulfed us and millions of others in the eastern United States this winter. It seems like it has been months, but I know it has not been much longer than a couple of weeks of frigid temperatures, but with all the bitter ice and snow, we are ready for a break. Hey, it is mid February in Maryland. Signs of spring are supposed to start happening around this time.

So what is the story? The Trump climate change deniers will cite the bitter cold, snow, and ice as evidence that climate change and global warming are a hoax. The Trump haters like me will cite this as punishment by a Divine Deity for our reckless and evil ways.

The forecast is for temperatures rising into the low 50s by the weekend, perhaps accompanied by some rain, but hey, anything is better than the ice we have had and which still blankets the ground as I look out my window. I am hopeful it will all soon be washed away, opening the door for a crocus or two to peep up out of the dirt, followed soon by forsythia, dogwoods, daffodils and azaleas.

I am also hopeful for signs of renewal in our troubled country. This can only be described as an act of faith. There are no guarantees that we will come out of this Dark Night of the Soul and become a kinder and gentler nation. Just as the tiny crocuses will soon start to pop up, I am hopeful and believe that we will see popping up more acts of kindness and resistance. These will grow and ultimately triumph over hate. We are fundamentally a decent people. Immigrants have made us great, and the good people here outnumber the bad. I would argue that it is not even close.

What signs do I see of renewal? There are many. Trump’s popularity has plummeted. He is the least popular President in history at this stage in his presidency. The courage and resistance of thousands of ordinary people in the Twin Cities is awesome and inspiring. Organizations across the country are forming to help immigrants. Given my somewhat fragile health, I have not been very active yet, but I belong to several resistance and immigrant support groups in the county where we now live. They are accompanying immigrants as they face the authorities and possible deportation. They are capturing the ICE brutality on film. Their numbers are growing. And they aren’t giving up. And establishment churches are stepping up. Catholic churches here in suburban Maryland are playing a big role, and mainline Protestant churches are joining in the fight as well. I was especially impressed with the bishops in the Episcopal church speaking out against the ICE onslaught. Good for them! The rector of the small Episcopal church Embry and I attend in DC is a strong supporter of the effort to honor and accept all people.

The awakening of middle class Christian churches and Jewish synagogues reminds me of the role many religious institutions played during the civil rights movement. This had a big impact on me when I was a seminary student in 1966. That summer Embry and I worked with SNCC, the most radical civil rights organization, in Southwest Georgia. It was an experience of a lifetime. Then there is the “No Kings Movement” with massive marches and demonstrations planned for the spring. Colleges and universities are starting to show some backbone. The press remains free. Trump has not been able to rig the next election, at least not yet. And more and more ordinary people are speaking out, writing letters to their representatives, demonstrating, and saying enough is enough. These are all signs of hope, just like the tiny crocus starting to peep up from a long winter’s sleep. Do not despair and become cynical: the crocuses will be followed by forsythia, daffodils and azaleas.

I know. Some are saying “pipe dream.” Those who have been following my posts know that I tend to move from despair to hope, then back to despair, and the cycle repeats itself. I have been around long enough to have my share of cynicism and negativity. But we can’t let this get the best of us. The stakes are too high. History will be the judge. The question for people of good will who find ourselves in the middle of dog fight we would rather not join is this: what did we do to make a difference. We don’t have a choice on this one. We can’t just watch it from the sidelines.

As I look out my window on the beautiful Collington grounds, I still see mostly snow, but I think I also see some green patches that are starting to form. I know soon I will see crocuses popping up.

 

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The big event at Collington last week was the observation of a masked man armed with a pistol, wandering near the Clock Tower at the center of the community center. What? ICE on the campus? How did he get past security? How would some of the Collington staff with dark skin and foreign accents react? Those looking into the event noted that he appeared to be providing security to a delivery at Collington. Nothing more to report at this time.

We are continuing to enjoy our time here despite the bitter cold and blankets of ice. What makes Collington special in our thinking are two things–the extraordinary beauty of the campus and surrounding forest and the warmth and the friendliness of the residents. The past week has involved some minor health-related incidents for me. (Staff at Kaiser do not yet greet me in Urgent Care by saying, “Oh, Mr. Howell, how are you today,” but still….) But these incidents pale in comparison to the love and affirmation expressed by so many residents greeting me, seeing me back participating in Collington activities after more than a month of absence. There is a true community here and for this we I am deeply grateful. Thank you, fellow Collingtonians!

Lurking in the shadows for us residents, of course, is the question of what it will be like starting next year when the new construction gets underway to carry out the Collington 2030 vision, which involves the addition of 55 new residential units and the demolition of the existing assisted living building to be replaced with a state of the art health care building, expansion of common areas like dining, the auditorium, and the bar, and a new swimming pool and fitness center. The redevelopment process will take two to three years and involve a heroic effort to maintain anything remotely close to a business-as-usual campus life. We understand that the redevelopment effort will involve oversight by Kendal and a development manager added to the Collington staff to coordinate the redevelopment effort. So far residents are somewhat apprehensive but inclined to support the phased redevelopment of the property, not that we have a choice. Collington received very high marks from residents during the covid crisis for food delivery and coping with the pandemic. Some are contemplating that this will present a similar if not more compelling challenge.

The hope here is that the frigid cold, ice and salted walkways will soon be a thing of the past when temperatures start to rise again as is expected to happen this week. But it has been quite a month with the ICE assaults in the Twin Cities and also, though more limited, in Prince Georges County where Collington is located outside of Washington. As far as I can tell, Collington residents are overwhelmingly outraged by what we see happening due to Trump’s assault on immigrants and people of good will. I am told there may be MAGA enthusiasts here at Collington, but if so they are laying low. Friends, on a national level we are in the middle of a fight that will determine the fate of democracy here in the US and perhaps the fate of the world.

But do not despair. Join the resistance effort in ways that you feel are appropriate and keep up the good fight. We as a nation will come through this dark night of the soul.

 

 

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You have seen the television coverage. Four or five masked and heavily armed paramilitary personnel stopping a car, removing the driver, smashing the windshield, and then throwing the driver on the ground beating him or her unconscious, two or three crying children in the back seat. This was happening every day last week in our country, mainly but not exclusively in the Twin Cities. Where we now live in a suburb of Washington the same thing is happening every day though not to the degree as in the Twin Cities. At the moment there seems to be a pause, but it could soon start up again depending on what the Democrats and Republicans agree on related to the ICE brutality and what Trump and his core of sycophants decide to do.
Do you disagree that this is happening right now in the United States? No, you say, I am overreacting. My reply is “Welcome to the Fascist Police State of the (formerly) United States of America.”
Will the skirmishes between protesters and immigration enforcers lead to more brutality, more violence and more incarcerations and deportations? Of course they will. And it is going to get worse, much worse. ICE now has about 25,000 personnel with the number projected to double every few months. They have a five year budget of over $72 billion– yes that is spelled with a “b,” and they offer $50,000 signing bonuses and good salaries. And who are these bullies who pound unarmed people seemingly at will? Where do they come from? It seems to many eerily similar to what happened in Nazi Germany during the 1930s as Hitler rose to power. Some observers have warned that ICE could morph into Trump’s own private police force taking revenge not only on undocumented workers but people who speak out against him. That means people like me and people like you. This is not a false alarm. This is a five alarm fire threatening to destroy communities and our country.
Others who follow Trump’s actions have pointed out that what we are witnessing now is merely a shot across the bow. Just wait until the concentration camps get built, run by private prison companies and allies of Trump. The construction of these tent camps has already begun mainly in remote areas where those who are arrested will never been seen again. Out of sight out of mind.
Part of my fear is that those who are offended by these actions of brutality will before too long get numb to the suffering. We will just wear out.
Here are the facts. According to the Pew Research Center there are approximately 14 million undocumented people living in the United States. What are Trump’s goals? To have them all thrown out and deported mostly to countries they did not come from or are locked up in concentration camps by the end of his term in a couple of years. At least at is what some of his advisers are saying. Seven million a year? That translates to over 19,000 people on average every day of the year. Friends, this is insanity. The only way this could happen would be to create a police state where basically no one is safe. Masked men carrying weapons, beating down doors without a valid warrant issued by a judge. Almost every community in the country would be affected as would almost every industry. Do you know how important immigrant labor is for farmers? Without them our food production system would be devasted. Ditto for the construction industry and home building. And what about the caregivers all across America? I just spent a week at Holy Cross Hospital and another week in assisted living at Collington and every caregiver I had in both locations spoke with a heavy accent and had names that mostly sounded African. Does anyone think that the health care system could function or that the economy could survive without immigrants? They do the necessary and important that many Americans do not want to do. To think that Trump could pull this off is a pipe dream. Plus, all of us who are not native Americans are descendants of immigrants. We are a nation of immigrants. This is what has made us great.
So if this is a pipe dream, you could argue that would mean that Trump will not be able to do what he wanted, so why bother? Besides, his business pals in health care, construction, and agriculture will not let him go too far, right? When their businesses are hurt, they will work something out.
Really?
Don’t count on it.
Folks, we are dealing with a person who is not playing with a full deck. No, he can’t pull this off, but what he can do is cause irreparable harm and suffering. We have no choice. We must resist. Let’s hear it for those brave people in the Twin Cities who braved temperatures near zero to stand in resistance. They are an inspiration.
For now, people of good will must speak out and stand with others providing help to people who are threatened by Trump’s inhumane crackdown on undocumented people. The place to start is the internet. Most communities have immigration support organizations in place. Find out who they are. Give them money. Volunteer to help. Tell your friends. And speak out! This also may be an area where there is some common ground between evangelical Christians and the mainline protestant churches and especially the Catholic Church, which at least in the Washington metro area is a leader in the effort to resist and push back against ICE.
So as to the question of civil war? What do you think the chances are? Everything I have read suggests that a full scale civil war like our country experienced in the 1860s is highly unlikely. The country is not divided according to geography as was the case then. Yes, we have solidly blue and red states but in each community there are sharp divisions. Plus, we Americans are not “bad people.” We are not “evil” though there may be evil people among us. But there are not as many as you would think. And just look at the political surveys. Trump’s support has tanked. A large majority of us are appalled at that they see happening.
Much of the division in our country can be explained by I would call the human condition. Friends, we humans are members of the animal kingdom. Human-like creatures did not appear as a species until about 3.5 million years ago and we Homo sapiens are newbies. We have only been around for a few hundred thousand years on a planet in a solar system that was created from cosmic dust about two billion years ago. Bottom line: we are animals. It was not until we discovered fire and the importance of banding together in family groups and villages that we were able to rise up the food chain. But animals we are and animals we will remain. Which means that self-preservation is a big motivator and that when feel threatened we fight back. Food is no longer a big issue, but security still is, and people who feel threatened or insecure are likely to fight back. This is part of our survival instinct. It got us where we are today. So, I look at the MAGA base and other Trump supporters who feel threatened by the modern world we find ourselves in and take sides when they feel threatened. I can understand this. Lord knows, there is much to feel threatened about in our time. This also does not mean that people who disagree with us are all “deplorables.” But it does mean that we have to stand our ground, try to win them over, and to fight peacefully for what we in our heart of hearts believe is right.
Embry and I participated in the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s and it was a profound experience for us. We have been bleeding hearts ever since. It seems we can’t help ourselves. (I have written a book about the experience, Civil Rights Journey. Available on Amazon. Cheap.) What this means in these troubling times is that we must stand up for what we believe is right and in this time in history join the effort to fight Trump’s crackdown on undocumented people. I hope you will join the cause.

 

 

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A Tribute to My Fellow Residents at Collington

As some readers know, I spent most of my career working in the affordable housing sector and in the senior living industry. For 25 years Howell Associates performed financial feasibility and marketing studies and helped in sales and marketing programs for mainly not-for-profit, senior living providers located all over the country. I sold the company to ZA Consulting in 1998, worked off a non-compete clause, and then turned most of my attention to teaching (mainly about affordable housing development and finance) in the Public Policy Program at the University of Maryland and in the Honors College at GW, and serving on the boards of several not-for-profit affordable housing and senior living providers.

(And to be honest, I did spend a lot of time racing and cruising our sailboat–a Jeanneau 39, called “Second Wind”–with Embry and good friends on the Chesapeake Bay and chartering sailboats in the BVIs and other exotic waters.)

Does this mean that when we moved to Collington I had a better insight as to what actually goes on in senior living communities from a resident’s perspective? Not by a long shot. I never fully appreciated or understood what it was like for residents living in these communities, what they were going through or what their experience was like. Embry and I have now been residents of Collington, a continuing care retirement community (or “CCRC,” different levels of care provided on site) in the Maryland suburbs of Washington for about 10 months. The experience has been an eye opener.

Today I will focus on what stands out about our fellow residents at Collington. I am calling this post “True Grit.” If there is one word which in my view captures the spirit of the residents living here, this is it. Here is what you need to know about what many people have experienced and are experiencing who are at Collington:

• Making the decision to move to a senior living community is not the first choice for most people who end up moving into a service-enriched, senior living community. The first choice, of course, for most people is to continue living in the house or apartment where they have lived, probably for a very long time, and where they have a network of friends. Like us, many people made the decision to move to a CCRC for two reasons. For a good number of people, living in their home of many years was no longer working. In many cases this involved the loss of a spouse or a serious health or mobility issue, or both. Or–and this was the case with us–they figured out ahead of time that a major health or mobility crisis is likely to happen to you at some point and that it makes more sense to make the move before you have to deal with a crisis. (You can read about my experience at Holy Cross Hospital in a recent post.) I give Embry full credit for this. But figuring this out ahead of time does not make the decision easy or without stress. Setting foot in a large continuing care retirement community is like going to college when as a freshman you knew very few people and were faced with starting a new phase of life from scratch but this time at an older age when it is not as easy to adjust. Making the transition and adjustment is not easy for anyone, but Collington does an exceptional job in easing the stress. We were assigned a “moving manager” to help with the move and an “ambassador,” who lives near us and in our “cluster” of seventeen cottages, and whose job is to introduce new residents to friends and activities and help them make the transition. Neighbors quickly become friends, having experienced the transition themselves, and go out of the way to make you feel welcomed.
• And there is an interesting mix of very accomplished people who live here, and a variety of careers–teachers and professors, social workers, doctors and nurses, artists, published authors, state department people, and the retired military along with the usual public servants, businesspeople and lawyers. No one boasts or even hints of prior accomplishments.
• No one complains about personal health issues or hardships even though we all have experienced them. That is all taken in stride. We have all lived long lives. At our advanced ages, that is enough to be thankful for. We all have bruises. We are likely to experience more. And the pain associated with the checking out process is just the way it works for us Homo sapiens on the planet Earth.
• Our friends and neighbors here at Collington are stalwarts and survivors. A high percentage have lost a spouse. Some are dealing with having a spouse in memory care or assisted living. They have seen it all. If they have lived here for over 12 years (which is about the average length of stay), they also will have lost a lot of friends. A community like Collington, which is a approaching its 40th anniversary, and has a resident population of over 400, there will be between 30 and 35 deaths a year–at least two or three per month–a not so subtle reminder that our time left is precious. Their photographs and short bios are posted in the hallway at Collington across from the photos of new residents moving in. I have heard several people comment that they anxiously look at the list of those who have died to check if a photo of themselves is posted.
• The key to a successful CCRC or any senior living community is having a caring and capable staff including nursing assistants and a full range of health professions, food service workers, and care givers. This is the case here where most of the hands-on care is provided by immigrants, as is the case in many senior living communities around the country. At Collington the entire support staff is honored and welcomed at many community-wide gatherings and events.
• Another factor at work here is shared values due in part to being the creation of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington and for the last 15 plus years an affiliation with Kendal, a Quaker organization emphasizing human values and, yes, progressive thought and action. If there is a MAGA supporter here at Collington, I have not met him, and residents are almost all universally appalled at what is happening in Minneapolis and also in neighborhoods near us where ICE is clubbing and imprisoning people of color who speak with a foreign accent.
• There is a wisdom that comes with old age. Death is not an abstract idea. A lot of people here have experienced the loss of a loved one. Yet we soldier on, upbeat and engaged in the problems of the world, eager to continue learning and happy to keep the torch burning. For me this all translates to a profound religious experience albeit not the kind of thing anyone talks about.
So let’s hear it for Collington residents! We are the survivors. Yes, we have taken our hits along the way and understand that life is not fair. We are the lucky ones, the ones with True Grit, who keep on squeezing the lemon as long as any drops are left.

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Thank you for following me on Substack or here on my photography website. I discovered to my horror when I finally got out of the hospital and was starting to feel better that my website, josephhowellphotography.com had been cancelled because my credit card had been reported lost, which it was, lost under a pile of papers on my dresser. It took me almost a full day but it is back and because of some complaints from readers about Substack I am going to post here as well. Take your choice and please know that comments are welcomed!

Joe

 

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In case you missed the Substack posts on my near death experience, here it is again. The emails from Embry come first followed by follow up. I am feeling pretty well now though fearful of a fall and am headed back to Kaiser for a number of follow up visits.

Today is January 26 and I am happy to report that I am on the road to recovery. You may have already seen one or both emails from Embry; but for those who did not get these I am including them here in the way of background regarding what turned out to be a near death experience. I will follow with my own take on this ordeal which began on December 14, 2025 in the lobby of the Arena Stage in Washington :

From Embry

Thanks for reading Joseph Howell’s stories! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

(email January 11, 2026):

I am writing to let you know about a serious medical issue that has been evolving over the past month (or so) that has now led to Joe’s being in the ICU at Holy Cross Hospital. I am not sure when it started and it could have been coming on for some time, but along the way it appears that Joe has had a bad reaction to some of his many (10) prescribed medicines. I became aware that he was not thinking as clearly as usual and his balance and mobility was becoming increasingly “shaky.” The Sunday before Christmas, we were at a performance at Arena Stage and he had a drastic fall backwards hitting his head and knocking him out for a few seconds. He seemed ok (although more shaky than usual), so we went ahead with our Christmas travels up to NJ with Andrew’s family and then to the Catskills with all our kids, their spouses, and all the grandkids to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. Since he was not improving, when we returned we went to the Kaiser Urgent Care Center where they diagnosed a concussion (but, thankfully, no damage was detected to his brain from the CT scan). At the same visit they detected that his sodium was very low and should be attended to very soon. They made an appointment with our primary care doctor to follow-up the following week. Another family event had us scheduled to go right away down to NC for my older brother, DG’s, memorial service in Chapel Hill on January 3rd. We went, although in retrospect I know now that Joe was very sick at that point. I was always thinking about the brain scan being normal, and relieved at that, but apparently the real problem was the low sodium. (Although I read the Science Times cover to cover each week, I had never heard of “low sodium” as a high risk factor, but apparently it is a disaster.)

Another unfortunate circumstance was that our primary care doctor became sick himself, and Kaiser cancelled the follow-up doctor visit. They did not allow me to reschedule it until the following week and did not allow me to schedule it with another internist either. This is a point about which I plan to file a complaint to Kaiser. Ok, doctors can become sick or have other emergencies, but they should have a back-up to fill in for them. That’s basic!!! I was communicating with the doctor a bit via the Kaiser portal. They had scheduled follow-up bloodwork to test the levels of sodium and all the other measures, and I took Joe for that. It is possible to see the results on-line and I saw that it was still very low. But still I was thinking the concussion was the main culprit, not knowing how bad the low sodium actually is. I wrote to the doctor to point out the low sodium results. (Shouldn’t he be writing to me instead!)

Thursday night (January 8), after Joe had been lying on the sofa all day, I tried to get him up to walk back to bed (with a walker, since he was so unsteady). At this point he took another fall backward and hit his head AGAIN, and I could not get him up. I called security here, a nurse friend who lives nearby, and 911. The upshot was that he was taken to the Emergency Department at a hospital very nearby to Collington, which is affiliated with the University of Maryland. Of course, as anticipated, we waited around (upright due to their lack of beds) and sat in a crowded waiting room surrounded by potential flu cases, etc. Finally, they found him a bed, did another brain scan (which was clear also, testifying to the hard head of my husband), and were about to discharge him when I mentioned to the doctor that they might want to look into his blood work since he had been diagnosed with low sodium. (This was not a Kaiser-affiliated hospital, so they did not have access to his records.) There was a rather startled look on the face of the doctor, and they ordered blood work (more delays for results, by this time it was 2 am in the morning and Joe was lying down but I was sitting upright in a hard chair). When the results came back the sodium level was still very low, so they immediately put him in intensive care, since treating low sodium is apparently very tricky. I went home for a two hour nap, and came back to find him still in the ER. There was no bed available in the actual ICU, so the ICU doctors were treating him, but he was still in the ER. This went on all day, with Joe becoming increasingly confused about where he was and why.

I had been having conversations all day with the ER social worker, who seemed pretty clueless about whether and when Joe would be discharged (to the actual ICU, to another bed in the hospital, home, or where?). So I assumed that a discharge was not imminent. I went home for dinner, watched the news, and went to bed for a long 9 hour restful sleep. When I woke up, I checked my phone to find multiple messages: one from the hospital saying he was being transferred to Holy Cross Hospital, one from Holy Cross saying he was there, and several from Joe sounding very confused about where he was. I called him, and he was still not sure where he was. (He thought he might be in Arizona!) I called Andrew, who has a tracker on Joe’s phone, and he confirmed that, yes, he was at Holy Cross Hospital! I packed up and headed around the Beltway to Holy Cross. It is a good hospital, and it’s in the Kaiser network where he is being cared for by Kaiser doctors, who have access to all his records. He is in the ICU there. When I arrived at 9 am they informed me that I had to wait for an hour, because visiting hours to the ICU are strictly enforced and begin at 10 am. (WHAT!!??) So I got my Starbucks Chai latte and sat there. I called Joe, and he cheerfully reported that he now knew where he was and it was Holy Cross Hospital. I said I was also at Holy Cross Hospital!

So that’s the long saga about how Joe ended up at Holy Cross. He does not seem to be getting a lot better yet, but we are hopeful that he will slowly start to improve as they gradually get the sodium level up. They have taken him off almost all his prescribed meds, which appear to be the combined culprits. Piecing the various evidence together, it seems that one or more of the meds led to the sodium problem, which led to confusion and unsteadiness on his feet, which led to the two falls, which finally took him to the ER where, thanks to my suggestion, the doctors began to treat the real underlying problem.

I have been studying the health care system most of my adult life, but I am now studying it from a whole new point of view!

Embry Howell

Second email (a week later)

I want to thank you all for your notes, prayers, and calls expressing concern. It has meant so much to me and Joe. The support we are feeling from friends and family has kept us afloat through a difficult period, while he has battled a serious medical issue. Happily, he is much better and on the road to recovery now.

It has been hard to keep in touch with everyone individually, so pardon my using a “mass email” to get the information out. I think most/all of you know that Joe had two falls, injuring his head (but not seriously, with no “brain bleed”). It turned out, however, that he had a more serious underlying problem that may or may not have led to his falls. He had a serious medical condition that we were unaware of for quite a while. At the time of his second fall, which occurred in our apartment, I dialed 911 and they sent an ambulance. The ambulance took us to a nearby emergency room where they diagnosed his dangerously low sodium level and put him in intensive care to treat it. He was then transferred to intensive care in another hospital, Holy Cross. After several days in intensive care, where–over several days–they slowly increased the sodium level. When it was close to normal range, he was moved to the regular floor, and at last, today, he has come back to Collington where he is now in “respite care” in assisted living for a week or two, while he gets his strength back. He is so glad to be back to this wonderful community, and I am so glad to have him nearby. What a relief!

Joe asked me to bring him his computer tomorrow, so I imagine he will be happy to get an email from you. Or I will continue to forward your good wishes to him. You even may see a blog post coming your way before long!

My post on this ordeal will follow soon. Stay tuned…

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Here if my follow up:

I am writing this post on Tuesday, January 27, in the wake of a major snow and ice storm here at Collington. It has been over a month since my first collapse in the lobby of the Arena Stage Theater on December 14.

Embry’s post tells an accurate story, at least as far as I can remember. During most of this time I have been in the midst of a heavy brain fog. I remember very little, but what I do remember, often is not correct. I have told people I was in various places, including several resorts in Arizona. I do remember the first fall vividly and I think accurately but have no recollection whatsoever of going to Kaiser’s Urgent Care, of being in the University of Maryland emergency room or of the collapse that resulted in a 911 call and an ambulance ride. Zero. I do remember, however, seeing visions of all four grandchildren who were in the room with me at Andrew’s house in the middle of the night and dressed in various costumes and floating around like ghosts. I remember very little about driving with Embry and daughter Jessica–they would not let me drive–to Embry’s brother’s memorial service in Chapel Hill or who I saw there. There were numerous reports of my acting very strange.

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What I do remember is this: my first recollection about Holy Cross is that I was alone with three emergency room doctors. The three were talking about my condition and seemed not to know or care that I was listening to every word. This encounter I assumed happened after Embry had alerted them to a possible low sodium issue. Without her intervention I am pretty sure they would not have even checked the sodium. Suddenly, the youngest of the three doctors burst out with this comment: “Jesus Christ, I have been practicing medicine for over 20 years and have never seen a living patient with a sodium count of 111. It is supposed to be 135.” Another doctor said, ”You have never seen one because they don’t exist.”

“Excuse me,” I replied. “Do I look like a corpse?”

The oldest of the three doctors looked stunned, then regained his composure and told me, “ Mr. Howell, you have a very serious medical situation, but it is not too late. We can bring you back but it is going to take time, three to five days and we have to treat the low sodium by giving you salt tablets. Using an IV would kill you.”

Three or four days later when the sodium count cleared 130 and was continuing to rise, the three departed. The senior of the three smiled and commented when telling me goodbye, “You dodged a bullet. You are going to be fine.”

The next chapter of my ordeal began after the three doctors left and I was moved from high level emergency care on floor one to floor four where I was placed in a tiny room in Holy Cross Hospital with one small window and a very large, wide screen (low definition) TV, which produced a blue picture. Let me tell you, if you were not already depressed when you entered my tiny, dark room, a few hours of watching blue television would get you there very quickly. During this three or four day period I remained in solitary confinement except for visits by Embry. I do not recall seeing many doctors but had a pleasant Kaiser physician occasionally stop by and a bunch of different aides pop in and out to take my blood pressure and sodium count, which was still rising at 312, close enough to get me discharged in three days. I did not count the number of aides but did take note that all of them had African names and strong accents. This same demographic applied to the aides I had in the “respite care” wing of assisted living at Collington where I stayed for a week to give Embry some rest and more time for my body and mind to heal. I asked some folks at Collington if they checked immigration status and got a fuzzy answer. If Trump wanted to bring hospitals and assisted living communities to their knees all he would have to do would be to unleash his thugs to beat and arrest all the support staff in every long term care facility and hospital in the country. In fact, since there has not been a lot for me to do but “rest and try to recuperate,” I have watched a lot of MS NOW and CNN and am stunned at the brutality happening in Minnesota. This can’t be happening, I keep telling myself. This is not Nazi Germany in the late 1930s, this is the United States of America. Yet not only is it happening here, but it is also getting worse by the day. The so-called “Big Beautiful Bill” has allocated more than a billion dollars to expand the masked goon squad into the thousands, beating people until they are unconscious, leaving small children alone and crying, and asking questions later, then putting the survivors into vast concentration camps now under construction, to be owned and managed by private prison companies, and never seen again. This can’t be happening here.

I also actually watched Trump’s speech in Davos, live. I kept thinking that this had to be a skit on Saturday Night Live, but no, it was happening in real time. It is becoming increasingly obvious that this guy is not playing with a full deck. He is out of his mind. But will any Republicans step forward and say enough is enough? Forgive me, I know I am not telling you anything you do not already know. The question for us is what we are going to do about it. We all will be judged by history.

Well, the good news is that I am finally back in our cottage at Collington with Embry. I am so glad to be back and to have dodged a bullet. Frankly, I had no idea how close I was to death. For that matter, I knew I had experienced a couple of concussions due to passing out and falling over backwards but had no idea what caused the blackouts and no idea that it was anything so serious. Some people have asked me what it felt like to be told I had come so close to death. First, I felt that if I had died I would have been cheated because I am not ready to call it quits. Second, it would not have been fair to those I love. There would have been no chance to say goodbye to family and loved ones, no time to settle up with the Divine. Just “poof” and it would be over, a lifetime of 83 years and 11 months–albeit it a few years longer than my life expectancy of around 67 when I was born. Plus, no one–friends, family and loved ones– would have been prepared for the loss. Well, thankfully that did not happen. But it surely stops me in my tracks to ponder how close I came and what might have been. So I am rejoicing that I have been granted a reprieve and have some more time left to squeeze a few more drops out of this old lemon. Expect to receive more blog posts.

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How did religion evolve from primitive beliefs in natural spirits to the major religions in the world today? Some scholars attribute the rise of religion as part of the evolution of the human species. Most of the great religions were formed during the “Axial Age,” a term coined by the German philosopher, Karl Jaspers in 1949. The Axial Age (roughly 800–200 BCE), was a pivotal period where major philosophical and religious traditions emerged across the globe, marking a shift in human consciousness toward abstract thought, self-reflection, and universal ethics, led by figures like Buddha, Confucius, Laozi, Greek philosophers (Socrates, Plato), and Hebrew prophets (Isaiah). This “Great Transformation” saw the rise of foundational ideas for modern civilizations, including concepts like the Golden Rule, individual conscience, and new understandings of justice, challenging older myth-based explanations. Christianity, and Islam followed several centuries later and are part of what some scholars refer to as the “Second Axial Age.”
Yet since these early beliefs were formed, science has provided evidence that the ancient stories in scripture often do not sync with reality. The creation story describes a process where the world was created in six days, was at the center of the universe, and that we humans are formed “in the likeness of God.” The Book of Genesis was written over a period of several centuries, with most scholars agreeing the scriptures reached their final form during or after the Babylonian Exile (6th-5th centuries BCE)—2,500 years ago–compiled from older oral and written traditions. Almost two thousand years later a Polish scientist and astronomer named Nicolaus Copernicus (1473-1543 CE), placed the Sun, not Earth, at the center of the universe, described Earth’s rotation and its orbit around the Sun, marking the beginning of modern astronomy. Three centuries after that, in 1859 Darwin published the Origen of the Species, showing how animal life evolved over millions or years and that we humans were late arrivals. Then Einstein in 1905 published his theory of relativity, followed by extraordinary inventions and discoveries like black holes, the atomic bomb, subatomic particles and advances in technology with satellites, space stations, the Hubble and Web telescopes, the discovery of countless galaxies, and now AI.
Yet despite evidence to the contrary, beliefs in the creation story still prevail for many who are “religious people.” The ancient creeds that are still recited in many Christian churches were written in the Fifth Century CE, over a thousand years before Darwin. Yet following the Axial Ages religious beliefs and practices, the idea of religion in general and Christianity in particular have not changed very much. Knowing what we now know, does it make sense that God has a gender, that the we humans “look like God,” that the planet Earth is at the center of the Universe, and is the only place in the Universe where living creatures exist, that one branch of religion is “more true” than another, or that our destiny after we die is to spend eternity with God–or if we don’t measure up or “believe” the right things–to spend it in hell, wherever that might be?
As I have written about in earlier posts, the main reason for religion on the Planet Earth is that we humans can’t dismiss the idea of a Divine Being. We are spiritual creatures. We have no choice but to ask questions regarding the meaning of life and of our own lives. And there is evidence that we Homo sapiens are able to experience something we call “the Divine.” The prime example for Christians, of course, is Jesus of Nazareth who because of his faith, the way he lived his life, and the “human experience” of His resurrection, Christians believe He was God incarnate. Theologians have spent much of their lives trying to make sense of this. Of course, believing does not make it true. And for us humans the nature of the Divine ultimately remains a mystery.
And then there are questions about the existence of evil, why bad things happen to good people, and how it is hard to see how God can be all powerful and all good. And if there is a heaven, it seems there certainly must be a hell where all the evil people end up. My point is we just don’t know. Above our pay grade, as they say.
As more people become skeptics, drop out of church, and state they are “spiritual but not religious,” some theologians have dreamed of a “Third Axial Age,” which does a better job in reconciling science with religion and human experience. Despite my own skepticism about theological certainty, Embry and I have attended our small, neighborhood Episcopal church in DC for decades. We have hung in there for a variety of reasons. Embry loves singing in the choir, it is rewarding to hear an occasional really good sermon , and we are used to the liturgy. It is also important to us to be part of a warm, welcoming and diverse community. And while I remain skeptical regarding certain parts of the ancient creeds, I fully embrace what I think the central message of Christianity is: love your neighbor and do what you can to help make the world a kinder, more just and a gentler place.
Decades ago we took a close friend, who is a secular Jew and grew up without any exposure to Judaism or Christianity and who told us that she was curious as to what Christianity was all about. I selected an Episcopal church we had never been to but had the reputation of being the most avant guard and progressive church in the Diocese of Washington and which had a dynamic rector. I was disappointed to learn when we entered the church that the rector was on leave and a supply priest would be conducting the service and giving the sermon. It was a cold early spring morning and several pains in the stained glass windows were missing allowing the cold air in, and no more than three of four dozen people were present. In the middle of his sermon, the preacher proclaimed that it was time to split up into discussion groups to discuss the meaning of the phrase, “Man can’t live by bread alone but only by the very word of God.” I was both puzzled and flabbergasted. Nothing like this is supposed to happen in Episcopal churches. My friend and I joined a group of eight or nine people, with my Jewish friend thinking that this was normal. Someone asked her to start off the discussion with what she thought the phrase meant, which she cheerfully did saying something like “you should try to be nice to the people you work with.” The other people reacted with frowns and raised eyebrows and one a man stopped her in mid-sentence, saying in a gruff voice, “You have got to be kidding! This is ridiculous and an insult.” I immediately jumped in to defend her. With a recent degree from Union Theology Seminary in New York City, at the time the center of intellectual Protestantism, I reached deep into my understanding of theology and God that I had learned from my renowned professors. Satisfied that I had nailed it, I leaned back with a smile.
There was a moment of silence, then someone else said, “Is that it? Is that what you believe?”
I nodded with confidence. Someone else in the group in a gruff voice proclaimed, “Well, if that is it, why don’t you just join the Democratic Party?” Someone else muttered,
“You are just the kind of person we have been trying to drum out of here.”
After the service was over and we were walking out, I apologized for what had happened assuring her that this was not normal.
“Oh that,” she said, “That did not bother me, but did you hear what else they said in the service, “Eat the body and drink the blood of Jesus Christ? These people are cannibals!” I do not believe she has ventured again into another church or a synagogue of any type.
So with this post I conclude my Advent Series. I will return to bashing Trump, trying to understand the difficult and trying times we are in, weighing in on the major issues of the day as I understand them, and telling some of my favorite stories. In the meantime, Christmas is coming up in less than a week. Though Christmas is a Christian holy day, the secular world has embraced it as a time for families and good friends being together, enjoying giving presents, and having a good meal. Whether you are Christian or not or even “religious,” there is something special–and, yes, even spiritual–about families and good friends getting together to enjoy each other’s company.
Merry Christmas!

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