Yesterday I emailed a draft of what I think should be in my obituary to our two grown children, who I presume will have the obit responsibility when the time comes. I want to be sure they get everything right. But rest assured, I am not dead yet. But I could be! Here is my story:

It is hard not to think constantly about the Covid Crisis. It–and only it—dominates the television news, the radio, the newspapers, the internet, and every talk show. Every day. All the time. Embry and I wear masks. We keep six-foot distances. We stay out of all stores and order groceries online. We communicate with others via email, Zoom and phone calls. We stay home and sulk wondering if we will ever be freed from House Arrest. We do not know when, if ever, we will be able to hug our grandchildren. We are obsessed.

A recent comment from a friend’s email a few days ago resonated with me. He commented that he wondered when this is all over, which group he would join first, Weight Watchers or AA. Me too. I get it. Yes, these are tough and scary times.

This explains why last week when Embry came down with extreme fatigue, aches and pains– “flu-like symptoms” — we looked at each other and said, “Oh, no!” Actually, that is not what we said; but since my grandchildren might read this, it will have to do. Unlike me, Embry never gets sick. That is not exactly true either since after she had spent time in an African country, she once or twice came back with some weird disease. But a run-of-the-mill cold or flu? Never. This spring, however, Embry has been going to the Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington every day during the preceding three weeks for radiology treatments for breast cancer. (She is doing ok and the prognosis is very good.) Sixteen visits to be exact. Guess who else is going to hospitals these days. I drove her to her appointment every day and waited patiently in the car envisioning Embry squeezing her way through crowds of coughing people, some without masks, desperate for help. It turns out that those seeking emergency help and ventilators went to another part of the hospital. But still. The first week of her treatment (early April), she noted that no one was wearing a mask, not even the doctors and medical technicians. It seemed to me she stood a pretty good chance of getting infected. I was certain that her symptoms had to be the dread disease. How else could you explain it?

That was Saturday. The next day I came down with similar symptoms. I staggered to the computer and got on the internet to review the symptoms of Covid-19. The good news was that neither of us had any fever. We still could taste food and smell things, and our toes were not blue or green. We did not have a dry cough. And we could breathe. I practiced holding my breath. Thirty seconds. Was that long enough? But we still felt terrible and had the awful fatigue and body aches that often accompany the flu. Besides, it turns out that the symptoms of Covid-19 are all over the place, and a victim often takes a quick turn for the worse. The truth is nobody really knows for sure if they have it until they get tested or they can’t breathe anymore. By that time, it may be too late. Surely, I thought, our number had come up.

What to do? No brainer. Of course, first you call your doctor. We are members of Kaiser Permanente and have been very pleased with this healthcare system and the care we have received for the last five or six years we have been members. But you never call your physician at Kaiser. You communicate via the message center on their website. When I logged in, I discovered a new warning on the Kaiser Permanente website that due to the Covid-19 crisis, communication with Kaiser physicians would be exclusively via a phone or video conference, and that you had to reserve a spot in advance. My doctor’s name appeared, and I immediately reserved a time slot for the next day, Monday, at nine in the morning.

Monday morning came and went. No call from the doctor. This was very strange since she had never missed following up quickly on emails before. That afternoon I checked back on the Kaiser website and realized that my appointment was for Monday at nine the following week. There were no spots left for this week. That was an eternity away. We both could be dead by then. The website, however, had a solution for patients like us: “If you are ill, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.” Now it is true that there was also a message about calling an advisory nurse, but we did not want a nurse. We wanted a doctor. We wanted our doctor. We wanted our doctor now.

Panic! At least I was panicking. Embry was starting to feel a little better, and I could tell by her look that she thought I might be overreacting. But for me the vision of the typical Covid emergency room immediately came to mind. We have all seen photos or videos of the catastrophic situation in New York City hospitals. Harried, medical personnel running this way and that wearing hazmat suits and masks. Patients, some with masks, others without, leaning against the hallway walls or sitting on the floors patiently waiting for help. People in cars lined up in front of emergency rooms, some slouched over the steering wheel, dead. For some reason the image of Calcutta in the 1930s and 40s came to mind—emaciated people jammed together, lying on the hallway floors in the hospital, dressed in tattered rags, moaning, with flies swarming around them, pleading for help.

The emergency room? Oh, my goodness! It was at this moment that I began to write my obituary. I know that it is not common or appropriate for someone to compose his or her own obituary, but I feared that very important things might be overlooked if left to others. Things like my blog posts and storytelling.

I had experienced emergency rooms in Washington before. A couple of years ago we took Embry’s brother, Mike, to the emergency room at the Washington Hospital Center for them to treat a severe infection. At nine in the morning the waiting room was already packed. By noon the ambulances were lined up with patients waiting to get in. By late afternoon every bed was taken, and patients were on stretchers, packed in the hallways so tightly that you could hardly walk between them. And all that was long before Covid-19. I could only imagine what the situation would be like today. The Calcutta image appeared in my mind again.

But the real issue with emergency rooms is that if by some chance you actually do not have Covid-19 when you go in, you surely will have it when you come out—if you come out. The germs have to be everywhere; and even if you wear a mask, it will do little good under emergency room conditions during the Covid crisis. Why on earth would Kaiser or any other health care provider even suggest in the Covid-19 world that the emergency room is a viable option for anyone “feeling ill” without first being screened by a physician? Other healthcare providers are doing the same thing.

Catch 22, baby. Catch Covid 22! You do not really know if you have the disease until you are tested. In DC and most of the country, you can’t get tested unless you have a doctor’s order. Doctors are so busy they can’t even talk to you for at least a week, let alone see you. In a week you might not be able to breathe. You are desperate for help. So you suck it up and go to the nearest emergency room. You find out it was a false alarm. You only had a common cold. You are relieved. But in the emergency room you are exposed to Covid-19. Five days later you are back again. This time it is the real thing. Anything wrong with this picture?

In our case I am happy to report that it was a false alarm. Embry was better by Tuesday, and I perked up on Thursday. We never talked to a doctor or ventured out to an emergency room. Did we have Covid-19? Probably not, but what we did have was pretty weird; and this is one weird disease.

We were–and are–the lucky ones. But what this experience really brought home to me is what this disease is doing to others who are not as lucky as we were. It brought home to me the fear that they must feel, their desperation, and their despair. I read somewhere that almost half of the patients who do get to the emergency room do not survive if they require a ventilator. More chilling is that those who are hanging on by a thread—or, for that matter, all patients in the ER during this crisis– are not permitted to have visitors. They do not have family and loved ones by their sides. Those who do not make it die alone. Their grieving family and those who are left behind are not able to attend a funeral. All gatherings of more than a handful of people are prohibited by the stay-at-home orders. It is a tragedy beyond description. It is nothing like anyone alive today has ever experienced.

At some point we–I mean “we” as in the human race– will get through this. But we do not have a clue when. Despite the easing of restrictions in some states, it now looks like the worst is yet to come. All we humans can do is hang in there, honor the distancing restrictions as best we can, and gut it out, hoping and praying that we and those we love will be the lucky ones and that at the end of it all, some good will come out of this horror.

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Trump announced today that he was firing advisors Fauci and Birx and replacing them with Rutherford Jackson, the scientist who invented the drug hydroxychloroquine and whose controversial views of fighting the Covid-19 epidemic involve “bodily cleansing.” While Mr. Jackson’s credentials are unclear, he is called “The Doctor” by his followers and has recently caught the ear of the President, who has shown impatience regarding social distancing and stay-at-home orders, which are devasting the economy. In a recent interview on Fox news “The Doctor” refuted the critics who have argued that there is no scientific evidence that hydroxychloroquine has any positive impact on curing patients with Covid-19, but that it can have serious side effects and should be avoided. “The Doctor” responded that all the evidence by his scientific team actually points to a cure by ingesting this drug in addition to other substances recommended by Trump at his press conference on Thursday such as rubbing alcohol, Lysol, and bleach. He referred to his critics as “a bunch of wimps and sissies.”

“It all has to do with bodily cleansing,” said The Doctor, “Besides rubbing alcohol and bleach, my favorite cleansers are nitroglycerin and Lysol. If swallowed in appropriate doses, they will kill anything.”

Following the announcement of the appointment of Mr. Jackson, the stock market rose over 1,000 points due largely to increases in stock prices of drug and cleanser manufacturers, including TrumpPharma, whose CEO is Donald Trump Jr. The healthcare community reacted immediately warning that ingesting any of these substances could lead to immediate death. There has been no response as of this reporting by the White House.

Following the President’s announcement to appoint Jackson as his primary health advisor, Trump announced that he has ordered all graduating seniors back to West Point where he will give the commencement address. He has notified the officials at the school that any graduate who misses the event should be court martialed. He also has insisted that all the traditional ceremonies, such as when the graduates throw their hats into the sky, will be honored, and all social distancing regulations will be lifted for the cadets and for all who attend the ceremony. For security reasons, no masks will be permitted, but Trump has ordered that dispensers of hydroxychloroquine and Lysol should be placed at various strategic locations in the stadium such as exits and restrooms.

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In an abrupt about-face, President Trump today called on his supporters to “liberate America” from the stay-at-home orders associated with the Covid-19 crisis, which he said were concocted by Democrats and fueled by the fake news media.

“There is no pandemic,” tweeted the president, “Never has been, never was, TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY. NOW!” Boarding the presidential helicopter this morning, he was confronted by several in the news media asking why he had supported these stay-at-home measures before and in fact had just issued directives for governors to proceed with a gradual loosening of restrictions. The president lashed out at the reporters, arguing that he never claimed that the country was experiencing a pandemic. “These are all lies by the fake news media. Total lies. I have said from the get-go that just like the global warming nonsense, the whole thing is a hoax. I want everyone back to work!”

“Look,” said the president, “More people die each year in automobile accidents than have died in this fake pandemic. It is all an attempt to make me look bad during an election year, to hurt my businesses, and to kill the strongest economy the world has ever seen, the economy which I created basically single-handedly by the way. My supporters understand this and will have none of it. These reckless stay-at-home actions have put over 22 million Americans out of work. And so, my rallies will continue; and if my supporters want to protest at the statehouses occupied by dictatorial, Democratic governors, I say just do it. Take ‘em over if you have to! Do whatever it takes to liberate these states, and the federal government will be behind you.”

Vice President Pence was the first to praise the president, saying to reporters, as he typically does whenever given a chance to speak, that Trump is the “greatest ruler of all time,” and that Trump’s call for the end of “so called health restrictions” was long overdue. Led by Mitch McConnell and Lindsay Graham, most Republican senators were quick to fall in line, congratulating the president for his “courageous leadership.” Strong encouragement also came from the Kremlin when this morning President Putin offered his support in whatever ways would help President Trump including the use of the Russian military, if requested.

It remains unclear what will happen next. Large mobs are gathering today on the grounds of most state capitols where a Democrat is governor. Many of the protestors are armed with assault weapons and hand grenades, and several in the news media have reported seeing rocket launchers. It is rumored that some of the agitators may have access to nuclear weapons. Several observers have noted that the actions appear to be planned and well organized. Some eyewitnesses to these gathering also report hearing what sounds like the Russian language being spoken.

The country remains in what has been described by many as the biggest crisis most of us will experience in our life times. Virtually all health care experts have warned that lifting the physical distancing orders now, before extensive testing is in place, will have a disastrous effect allowing the Covid-19 coronavirus to spread like wildfire. They say that the reason that the fatalities have been lower than what was forecasted is due to the rigorous distancing regulations and the closing of businesses and nonessential activities, and that deaths are likely to skyrocket if people are suddenly allowed and encouraged to go back to work.

Many in the country, especially Democratic Party elected officials, appeared to have been caught off guard by Trump’s tweets and his support for the protesters, and are unclear as to how to respond. Speaker Pelosi and Minority Leader Schumer are meeting this afternoon with other leading Democrats including the apparent nominee for president, Joe Biden, to develop a response to Trump’s actions. If Trump orders the U.S. military to assist actions by protestors to take over local and state governments, it is not clear what the outcome will be. Attorney General William Barr is reported to have urged the president to declare a national state of emergency, temporarily suspend the U.S. Constitution, postpone indefinitely all elections, and put the country under martial law. President Trump is said to be seriously considering these options.

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During this time of the Covid 19 pandemic, let us give praise. Let us praise all those people who are working every day to save lives in hospitals, wellness centers, and emergency rooms. They are there for us all the time, but we think about them rarely, mainly in times of crisis like we are in now. Many do this at great risk of getting infected, and some have paid the price with their lives. Let us praise the doctors, the nurses, the nursing assistants, and the medical technicians. Let us praise those who keep them going—those who greet patients, answer the phone, run the computers, turn on the lights, prepare the food, wash dishes,clean up, fix what is broken, provide security, and all those behind the scenes who keep the hospitals and doctors’ offices open.

Let us praise the first responders, those whom we honored after 9-11, but whom often we take for granted. Let us praise the emergency health care workers, the police, and firefighters, and all those who are there for us in times of great crisis.

Let us praise the hospital chaplains, the clergy, the social workers, and all those who comfort the sick and the bereaved, their families, and loved ones.

Let us praise the researchers and scientists who are working 24-7 to figure this pandemic out, to soften its blow, and to develop a vaccine.

Let us praise our teachers and professors, who are now teaching from home using the internet to connect with students.

Let us praise those who work in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and senior’s housing where the losses have been so great and the personal risks so high.

Let us praise all those people who are keeping us going in our own homes as we struggle to deal with stay-at-home orders, isolation, and physical distancing. Let us praise those who are still working in essential businesses like grocery stores and pharmacies, those who prepare food for delivery and get it to us, those who drive the buses, trains, trucks and airplanes that get essential items to us, those who produce the food, and those who drive the taxis and cars that take us where we need to go. Let us praise those who deliver our mail, pick up our trash, clean our streets and public areas, and those who work in the apartment buildings where so many of us live. Let us praise those in government who get to us essential services and financial aid. Let us praise our military and those who are keeping our country safe and strong. Let us praise our elected officials at all levels of government who are making difficult decisions every day regarding how to deal with the pandemic.

And let us praise the everyday people who are lending a hand here and there, trying to ease the pain we all are going through. Let us praise the small business owner who continues to keep staff on, knowing that if government help does not come soon enough, it could mean the end of the business. Let us praise the landlord who gives tenants a break on the rent and lenders who put off foreclosures and loan payments. Let us praise all those who call a neighbor or friend just to check on how they are doing and to see if help is needed. Let us praise those who volunteer to provide services to shut-ins and those most isolated and at risk. Let us praise all who are trying to do their part by keeping a safe distance and staying at home. These are the unsung heroes.

Let us now praise all these famous men and women.

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Our Faux News reporter, disguised as a medic with a thermometer to assure the absence of covid-19 by taking the temperature of all those present at the high-level meeting yesterday, secretly recorded the following unedited discussion. Those present included Vice President Pence, Attorney General Barr, Treasury Secretary Mnuchin, health advisers, Doctors Fauci and Birx and three unidentified advisers.

Trump: I am sick of this shit. It is time to reopen the country and reopen it now. I want it done tomorrow. Does anyone have any idea how much money I am losing every day on my shuttered hotels and resorts? This stay-at-home stuff has totally gotten out of hand, and now unemployment is hitting the double digits. I am sick, sick, sick of this, and the American people won’t stand for it.

Pence: Thank you, Mr. President. I agree with everything you say. I always agree with everything you say. You are the greatest, the best president we have ever had. I am so lucky to have the honor of serving you. The American public loves you. You are not capable of making a mistake, Ever. Thank you, thank you, thank you….

Trump: Enough Pence. What do the rest of you think?

Barr: Agree.

Mnuchin: Agree.

Fauci: Not so fast, Mr. President. The physical distancing is working. The stay-at-home orders are working. That is why the projections have gone down from 60,000 deaths to maybe 40,000, but if we were to stop the distancing and the stay-at-home orders, the projections could easily jump to well over 100,000 deaths and perhaps as much as over one million deaths in the U.S. The problem is we really don’t know, and we can’t know without testing, and we do not have the testing we need yet.

Trump: Yes, we do. I have said many times that anyone in the U.S. who wants to get tested can get tested immediately.

Fauci: With all due respect, Mr. President, that is not the case. We are working on getting the tests out, but having the proper number is still weeks, maybe months away.

Trump: Fauci, you are fired.

(Fauci exits the room.)

Trump: Birx, what about you?

Birx: With respect, sir, I am afraid to say that I have to agree with Tony. We can’t risk seeing the deaths go up astronomically. The time will come when we can go back to something approaching normalcy, but we will not be able to do this until we are able to test millions of more people. Every health expert in the country agrees with us on this.

Trump: Not the ones on Fox News. Birx, you are fired.

(Birx exits the room.)

Trump: Now that the fake experts are gone, we can get down to business. I am going to announce at the briefing that everyone is expected to be at work on Monday and to throw the face masks in the waste basket. The fake pandemic is over, and America is going back to work. It is time to celebrate, and I want to see everyone in church on Easter Day, except for me, of course. I can’t get out of my scheduled golf game. Anyone not showing up for work on Monday will be jailed. Now let’s do it. I want those unemployment numbers going down. Now!

Barr: Bravo, Mr. President! I will get the ball rolling.

Adviser 1: With respect, Mr. President, you may want to slow this down a bit, and you may want to reconsider firing your healthcare experts. It will not play well with the press corps except, of course, for Fox News.

Trump: Have you seen my TV ratings? I am killing them. Off the charts! My ratings will really soar when everyone is back at work. And who cares about the fake press anyway? Nobody gives a twit about the lying bastards. Hunter Biden will not have a chance.

Adviser 1: You mean Joe Biden? In any event, sir, we honor you and believe you know best. I will withdraw my objection.

Pence: Good move, young man. The president is always right. Always. He never has made a mistake. He is incapable of making a mistake. Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you so much. You are so great! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you….

Trump: Enough Pence. Anyone else have any objections?

Adviser 2: Of course, Mr. President, I agree with you too like everyone else in the room right now. We all agree with you. But I feel, sir, obligated to point out the political risk if we are not careful. Two things. First, I believe the governors of the states will have the last say on this. This is really in their court.

Trump: Barr, is he right on this?

Barr: Mr. President. You can do anything you damn well please.

Trump: Thanks, Bill. Second point?

Adviser 2: According to the experts, we could see many more deaths if the stay-at-home and distancing orders are softened, and the number may spike near election time into the hundreds of thousands. That might not look good for your reelection.

Trump: Do you think for one moment that I give a flying twit about how many die? Most are old codgers who are going to die anyway. I just do not understand why this is such a big deal. People die all the time. And besides the vast majority are poor and black. Do you think anyone cares about them?

Adviser 2: Of course, I agree. We all agree. All I am saying is that it may not look good, and it may cost you votes. Plus, if you argue for everyone going back to work and the Democratic governors don’t go along with you, then you can blame the unemployment figures on them. You will be the hero.

Trump: Ok, I see your point. But what I want to know is this: Is it possible to hold back all federal aid to the blue states and the states where the governors do not appreciate me or say kind things about me?

Barr: Mr. President, you can do anything you damn well please.

Adviser 3: That is correct, Mr. President, we all agree with you, and we all know that you do not make errors, but what we believe makes the most sense is to take it a tad slower. Yes, screw the Democrats, yes, screw the governors, and yes, let the masses die, but do not do it in a way that might look bad, at least for now, until your reelection is assured. We humbly and respectfully request that you do not fire Fauci and Birx right now but delay that and delay opening up America until May 1– and then you do all you can to screw the governors who do not comply, but try to keep it under the radar.

(prolonged silence)

Trump: Ok, I will make the announcement. May 1 it is, and for now I won’t fire my fake experts, at least not yet, but do not think for one moment that I will take anything they say seriously. And by the way, Barr, I want you working on making absentee voting illegal…

Barr: I am on it, Mr. President.

Trump: Ok, meeting adjourned.

Pence: Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you….

Trump: For God’s sake, Pence, the meeting is over.

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There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version

And so it is that our time has come. The entire planet is now affected. Covid-19 is changing the world forever. We just are not sure how. Right now, April 6, over 40 percent of the world’s population is on stay-at-home orders or something equivalent. Over 90 percent of the world’s children are not attending school. The infections number almost 1.3 million world-wide, resulting in 70,000 deaths. In the US we are approaching 350,000 infections and 10,000 deaths. And we are told it is only going to get worse. A lot worse. There may never have been an event in human history where so many lives have been–or will be– affected. While we are nowhere near the infections or fatalities of the 1918 flu, at least not yet, the quarantine and distancing orders are impacting virtually all of us. Yes, the pandemic will pass, eventually leaving in its wake misery and suffering beyond measure; but beyond that, the world economy we are told is likely to take years longer to recover.

Our time, that is, our collective time on the planet Earth, has come.

For Christians this is Holy Week. Easter comes in just six days. Easter historically has been a time of renewal and hope. Many churches will be empty this year due to the pandemic. Passover begins on Wednesday and goes for eight days through the next Thursday. Whether we realize it or not, this moment in history has profound religious significance regardless of whether we are part of any religious organization and regardless of what we say we “believe.” It is religious because it raises questions about the meaning of life on this planet, reminds us of our fragility and our vulnerability, and forces us to look again at our own lives and at what is important and what is not.It is a reminder that we humans are not always in charge.

We will get through this, we are told by our leaders, and, of course, we will. We humans are resilient. But with how much suffering and sadness, this we do not know. Will this help us identify with our brothers and sisters all over the planet? Will it give us more compassion? Will it give us more wisdom? Will we use this to come together to save the planet and each other or to retreat into tribalism and despair?

This is one of those times, I suspect, that whether we are religious or not, believers or not, we fall back on the wisdom of the ages like the words in Ecclesiastes 3, looking for a glimmer of hope, and realizing that the mysteries of life are beyond human understanding. Many will simply say the prayer, “God help us.”

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If you are running out of good books to read during this period of house arrest, Embry has some suggestions for you. She is always reading two or three books at at time and right now is in three book clubs. I don’t know how she does it but do know that the books I have read on her list are all good. Here is the list:
Books from Childhood and Adolescence
Bible Stories (as read by my grandmother)
Miss Minerva books (as read by my mother)
Betsy, Tacy, and Tibb—Maude Hart Lovelace
Anne of Green Gables—Lucy Maude Montgomery
Green Mansions—W.H. Hudson
Little Women—Luisa May Alcott
Jane Eyre– Charlotte Brontë
The Last of the Just– André Schwarz-Bart
Biographies and Memoirs
The Long Walk to Freedom—Nelson Mandela
Katherine Graham’s Personal History—Katherine Graham
Dreams from My Father—Barack Obama
A Tale of Love and Darkness—Amos Oz
Any of Antonia Fraser’s biographies, such as Mary Queen of Scots.
Novels
This is too vast a subject, but here are a few novels I loved (“So many books, so little time”):
Death Comes to the Archbishop—Willa Cather
Heart of Darkness—Joseph Conrad
Anna Karenina—Leo Tolstoy
Germinal—Emile Zola
Scarlet Letter—Nathaniel Hawthorne
Le Rouge et le Noir (Red and the Black)—Stendhal
One Hundred Years of Solitude—Gabriel Garcia Marquez
James Mitchener’s books, all fun reads
Passage to India—E. M. Forster
Half a Yellow Sun–Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
The Kitchen God’s Wife—Amy Tan
Cutting for Stone—Abraham Verghese
The Hungry Tide—Amitav Ghosh
A Thousand Acres—Jane Smiley
Crossing to Safety—Wallace Stegner (Joe’s Favorite, too)
Snow—Orphan Pamuk
Dr. Zhivago—Boris Pasternak
The Color Purple—Alice Walker
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man—James Joyce
Great Expectations—Charles Dickens
A Fine Balance—Rohington Mistry
To Kill a Mockingbird—Harper Lee
Pride and Prejudice—Jane Austen
A Day in the Live of Ivan Denisovich—Alexander Solzhenitsyn
The Stranger—Albert Camus
The Magic Mountain—Thomas Mann
The Metamorphosis—Franz Kafka
Short Stories:
Stories by Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Jhumpa Lahiri, Alice Munro, and John Cheever.
Politics/Sociology/History
The Second Sex—Simone de Beauvoir
Simple Justice—Richard Kruger
Nickle and Dimed—Barbara Ehrenreich
Democracy in America—Alexis de Tocqueville
Guns of August—Barbara Tuchman
Guns, Germs, and Steel—Jared Diamond
Joe Howell’s books, available online

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In a press conference today, a smiling President Trump, flanked by Vice President Pence and Attorney General William Barr on one side and Senators Lindsley Graham and Mitch McConnell  on the other, declared that the Covid-19 pandemic crisis is over and that all businesses will reopen on the day after Easter. After the short announcement he turned the podium over to the head of the Coronavirus Crisis Team, the Vice President, who praised the President for the next 15 minutes crediting the President’s courage, wisdom, intelligence and good looks for almost single-handedly conquering the virus. The others on the podium nodded in response and interrupted the presentation by the Vice President eleven times.

The President then returned to the podium to answer questions. Here is the unedited transcript of his remarks:

Trump: “Thank you, Mr. Vice President, for the wonderful job you too have done. As the American people know, it is no fun staying home especially when it is not necessary, so now they all can go back to hugging, kissing and handshaking, riding on airplanes, spending their money in bars and restaurants, investing in the stock market, and attending my rallies. The economy and the stock market will come back like nothing you have ever seen. All of the agony the American people have gone through in the past couple of weeks is due to the Democrats desire to torture the American people and  blame it on me. The nightmare is over at last. I will be celebrating on April 15 with the largest rally ever held. And Hunter Biden will not have a chance in November.

Reporter 1: Did you say Hunter Biden? Did you mean Joe Biden?

Trump: Next question.

Reporter 2: Where are all the health professionals? Where is Doctor Fauci?

Trump: They are no longer needed since we are over the crisis. Actually, Doctor Fauci is on his way to Venice where he and his family had scheduled a vacation a long time ago.

Reporter 3: But there are thousands of more cases happening every day in the U.S. and around the world, and the numbers are increasing exponentially? So are the deaths. Why would you stop the lockdown now?

Trump: Look at what it is doing to the economy and the stock market. Do you have any idea how much money I have lost? Because of the unnecessary lock downs, my hotels have lost hundreds of millions. I myself have lost billions. Does that bother me? Of course not. I was a multibillionaire when the American people overwhelmingly elected me, and I will remain one. I have so much money that a few billion for me here and there is not that important, but I am thinking about the other hard working American people who have been ruined by the lockdowns, you know, the Fortune 500 CEOs, the bank presidents, hedge fund managers, the lawyers and tech entrepreneurs. They are all really hurting right now. I am doing this to help the American people.

Reporter 4: But the American people are dying, and the health experts say it is only going to get worse.

Trump: This is what gets me about the Fake Press. How many have died in the U.S. so far? What—maybe around 600? That is peanuts. Peanuts! Do you know how many people die in the U.S. from the flu every year? About 50,000! And we don’t shut everything down. And from automobile accidents? What, maybe 30-35,000 and we don’t keep people from buying cars. And along comes this Cartohona Virus, and all the Chicken Littles start saying the sky is falling, and all of a sudden, we see lockdowns. Then the economy tanks. And do you have any idea of how much that is costing me? I am telling you the lockdowns and the so called “distancing” are killing the economy and killing the stock market and killing jobs, all because of a handful of dead people who would probably have died anyway since most of them were old to begin with.

Reporter 5: Do you mean the coronavirus?

Trump: Whatever. Next question. Actually it is the China Virus.They started it and as far as I am concerned it is their fault so from now on I am going to refer to it as what it is–the China virus.

Reporter 6: But this is just the beginning. Look at what is happening all over the world. Almost 400,000 cases, 17,000 deaths so far, and the experts say that it will get much worse. So many countries are now in lockdown. They compare it to the flu epidemic of 1918 which killed millions world-wide and almost 700,000 in the U.S. They say that if we do not take drastic precautions now, it will be too late, and over two million people in the U.S. could die. Almost half the population could be infected. Your own health experts have said as much. Doctor Fauci for example.

Trump: He is now on vacation in Italy, thank you. Anyway, so what if two million people died in the U.S.? That is less than one percent of the population, no big deal, if you ask me, especially since most are old codgers anyway or have preexisting conditions. And besides there are Fake Experts like the ones at your failing newspaper, the New York Times, and then there are Real Experts like the ones on Fox News. The Fake Experts will try to make you think that climate change is happening and that we should move away from fossil fuels. They are the ones complaining about the so called pandemic. The Real Experts like those who are with me today on the podium and like those who come to my rallies, they know better. They know that all this pandemic stuff is much to do about nothing. So I am ordering all restrictions lifted on April 12, Easter Day, and I want to see everyone in church that day, no more of this tela-worshipping, and am telling the stock market and the economy that you are now free to recover. Go about your business. This will be a great day for the American people. And I will tell you, this will put a nail in Hunter Biden’s coffin.

Reporter 7: Mr. President, Hunter Biden is not running for President.

Trump: That is what you think. Press conference over.

 

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We have all been affected by great movies, an art form that combines music, acting and photography in ways that if done well (which is indeed rare) can take us to another realm.

Here are some of the ones that have had an impact on me. You probably have seen most of them, but if we are cooped up for a very long time, you may want to take another look. They all fall into the category of masterpieces in my view.

• The Pawn Broker (1964), probably Rod Steiger’s best performance, both disturbing and hopeful.
• Bergman’s trilogy (1961-1963), Through A Glass Darkly, Winter Light, and the Silence. Also my Bergman favorite, Wild Strawberries (1957).
• The Killing Fields (1985), about Cambodia based on the life of Dith Pran during the takeover by the Khmer Rouge.
• A Thousand Clowns (1965), first glimpse of the early 1960s. Jason Robards’ best performance.
• Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), Spielberg’s finest but also I would throw in the first Indiana Jones (1981) movie too.
• Star Wars I (1977) and American Graffiti(1973) by George Lucas.
• Doctor Strangelove (1964), Kubrick’s anti war masterpiece. Still funny (and scary) after all these years. Also Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Full Metal Jacket (1987).
• West Side Story (1961), Sondheim and Bernstein’s brilliant collaboration. Directed by Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise.
• Doctor Zhivago (1965), a David Lean classic epic. Also his Lawrence of Arabia (1962).
• The Graduate (1967), introducing Dustin Hoffman, directed by Mike Nichols.
• Seven Beauties (1975), Italian film by Lena Wertmuller. Pretty hard hitting about pre fascist Italy.
• Rebel Without A Cause (1955), introducing James Dean. Coming of age in the 50s.
• The Grande Illusion (1937), by Jean Renoir. World War I French film.
• Timbuktu (2014), sleeper and the only current film on my list of impact films. Director is from Mali. Very artistic. Beautiful Boy (2018) is also current and very good but emotionally draining as, I am afraid to say, are many on my list.
• The French Connection (1971), fabulous crime thriller with Gene Hackman.

There are surely many more. Feel free to add your favorites in the “comments” section.

 

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During the past week while Embry and I remained in self-quarantine, due to our exposure to someone who had Covid-19,  I have done three things and only three things: first, worry about the coronavirus; second, via phone and computer, try to stay in touch with family and friends and stay involved with the nonprofit boards I serve on; and, finally, try to get my computer working properly. The last item is the subject of today’s blog post.

 I am an Apple devotee. I own an iMac desktop, a Mac laptop, an Apple Watch and an iPhone. I am all in. I also have had good experience with the help I have received from Apple Help on the phone. Someone calls you right back and these experts seem to know what they are doing. The dozens of Apple people I have talked to over the years have generally been courteous and understanding.

 “Betsy” (cannot remember her real name) was the Apple expert that I received help from yesterday. If I had to place her accent, I would guess Brooklyn, “LongGiland” or maybe “Jouesy.” The conversation started like they all do:

Betsy: “And to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with today? First and last name, please.”

Me: “Joe Howell.”

Betsy: “So, Joe, how can I help you today?”

Me: “Well, you are the sixth Apple person that I have talked to this week regarding my computer problem. So far no one has been able to fix it. And I have a case number you can refer to, in fact five different case numbers. The problem started when the screen saver would not come on and the computer would not turn off by itself, and that began about a week ago, then it morphed into the computer locking up all the time, so I had to shut it down and restart it several times a day, and then it stopped getting emails. Yesterday I replaced my old operating system with Catalina, the latest operating system, and that was supposed to solve the problem, but it didn’t.”

At this point there was a pause while Betsy reviewed the case notes others had written. She then initiated the drill that her Apple colleagues had all followed in previous phone calls. First the screen sharing, then the pointing with a red arrow, directing the fool at the other end exactly where to click. This was followed by clicking the “sleep” option about a dozen different times to test if the problem had been fixed after making the changes, but no success. The computer screen remained on. Then the computer locked up. Restart. More changes. More lock ups. And on this went for close to an hour.

Betsy was beginning to lose patience. Her tone of voice was never all that gentle to begin with, but now she sounded more like a drill sergeant. “Do this, do that, follow my instructions, watch the pointer for god sakes, pay attention.”

Nothing worked.

Betsy: “Joe, you have got to try.”

Me: “I have been trying for six days!”

Betsy: “Well, you have not been trying hard enough, Joe.”

Me: “So what do you suggest?”

After a long pause during which time I heard what sounded like Betsy taking several deep breaths, she directed me to hold down the “control” key, the “command” key, and the “r” key and the “p” key all at the same time. If you have an Apple keyboard, you can see where all those keys are. The first two are at the bottom left and the “r” and “p” keys are near the top and almost at opposite end of the keyboard. Holding all four keys down at the same time was actually not all that hard but could not have been accomplished without using two hands. Then came the hard part: turning on the computer while keeping the four keys pushed down. The on-off button on a Mac desktop is located on the back of the computer. The conversation continued:

Me: “That is not possible. I can’t reach the off-on button without taking my hands off the keys.”

Betsy: “Yes you can, Joe.”

Me: “I am trying. For goodness sake, it is located on the back of the computer!”

Betsy: “Try harder, Joe.”

For the next 15 minutes or so I gave it my best effort. Using my thumb and index finger I freed up my little finger, which I  stretched like a contortionist at the circus might do  so I almost could press down the on-off button; but every time I thought I had made it, my fingers on the keyboard slipped, and I had to start over. Each time I failed there was another sigh on the other end of the line.

Me: “Who designed this computer anyway? What were they thinking?”

Betsy: “Joe, Apple can only help those who help themselves.”

At this point I had a brilliant idea. Embry! She was in the other room working on a report. I told Betsy to hold on, rushed out of my office, and hollered that I was in the middle of a crisis and needed her help immediately. Looking bewildered she came in and then held down the four keys while I pushed the on-off button. Voila! We did it.

Whatever was supposed to happen next did not happen. Chalk up another failure.

Embry departed, shaking her head.

There was another sigh from Betsy, followed by another long silence.

Me: “Well, don’t worry about it. No one else at Apple could fix it either. I will just take it into an Apple Store.”

Betsy: “No you won’t.”

Me: “Why not?”

Betsy: “They are all closed and will remain closed until the pandemic is over.”

Me: “Does this mean the computer can’t be fixed?”

Betsy: “Not necessarily. You might be able to go to an independent contractor and I will give you the name of one near you. Where to you live?”

Me: “Washington, DC.”

Betsy: “Is that on the East Coast or West Coast?”

Me: “Washington, DC?”

Betsy: “Yes, that is where you said you live, didn’t you?”

Me: “Washington DC is the capital of the United States. It is on the East Coast.”

Betsy: “Thank you.”

When Betsy said the closest independent contractor was in Baltimore and not taking appointments for the next couple of weeks, I told her to forget it. I gave up. I did not keep track of the time I had allocated to this task but am sure it approached what used to be a full day’s work at the office each of the six days before everyone started working from home. Maybe that was a good thing. It took my mind off the coronavirus.

Her concluding remarks were decidedly more cheerful, “Joe, it has been a pleasure serving you today. Is there anything else you would like Apple to help you with today?”

I hung up the phone.

I stumbled out of the room, dejected, to catch the latest on the pandemic. When I returned about a half hour later, to my astonishment the computer had put itself to sleep. It has been working perfectly ever since.

I remain puzzled but am asking no questions. Hey, you take what you can get. Could this be an omen for the pandemic that it might not get as bad as we think and that in the end we will pull through? Life, you know, is full of surprises. You give it your best shot and then let the chips fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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