Thanks to those of you who have wished me well and offered me moral support for my new knee. Here is a brief summary and advice from a knee replacement patient two days away from the one-month mark. Advice from a chronological perspective:

• Week One. If you are thinking about elective, full knee replacement surgery, do not do it. I don’t care how bad your knee hurts, it is not worth it. The opioids I take probably help and I do not know how bad I would feel without them. But still, we are talking real pain here. You do not even get an opium high and having any alcohol is forbidden. Is this torture or what? Plus forget about going to the bathroom. Who talked me into doing this? On the plus side I am getting visitors for tea and cookies in the afternoon, which Embry set up, daily events with friends which I attribute to my avoidance of a deliberate opioid overdose.
• Week Two. Fearful of opioid addiction and a subsequent unintended overdose, I trash the pill bottle, having consumed only about 20 of the 65 pills. Then I realize that I could have made a small fortune selling them on the internet or on the street. Pain has retreated a bit in week two, and I am getting physical therapy from a bearded Egyptian wearing a suit, who comes three times a week, has a PhD in PT, and is from an upper class family, who still lives in Cairo. He is terrific, and I feel I am starting to make small progress. I am still using a walker, and getting the stiffness out of the left quads is the big challenge. I am still wondering, however, what I must have been thinking when I elected to get a new knee. Afternoon tea and cookie visits with friends continue and keep me going.
• Week Three. First time out of the apartment. Visits to the doctor and downtown to the Kaiser office for PT. To my surprise, both doctor and physical therapists think I am making great progress. Lord have mercy, I think, how bad off must these other people be? The PT guy tells me to ditch the walker, which I do with some trepidation, only to discover that I can do fine with a cane. I am becoming ambivalent about whether or not the surgery was worth it.
• Week Four. Exercises are getting easier and strength is building up faster. I venture down to the fitness center in the basement of the K-W and am able to do the bicycle and a couple of leg machines. To my astonishment I find that I am now able to walk fairly easily without a cane. Hey, who said this was such a bad idea? Knee replacement? Everyone should get one!

More to follow…

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It has been only a week since the President called the elected Democrats who failed to stand or applaud his State of the Union address “un-American” and “treasonous,” a charge that, if upheld, carries with it the death penalty. While the national reaction seems to have subsided, in the White House feverish steps are being taken to bring the accusation to the next level. Faux News has learned that a secret committee has been formed to arrest the guilty parties, try them for high treason and then execute them in a formal ceremony, which would be at the conclusion of what Trump is now touting as the largest military parade in the history of the world. Many in the White House, including the President, are euphoric. Trump is reported as exclaiming, “the treason bit was a slip of the tongue, but, wow, what an impact! My base loves me for it. The Evangelicals love me for it. The country loves me for it. Let’s do it and do it quickly. With almost all the Democrats out of the picture, it will free me up. I can kill the Russian investigation, jail the Dreamers, kill Medicaid, Medicare, food stamps, and cut back social security. Plus any pro football player who kneels instead of stands with his hand over his heart during the National Anthem will be jailed for treason and end up with the Democrats!”

From the back of the room a soft voice said, “We have time, Mister President, football season is over until next September.”

The excitement in the White House was not universal. Some argued that the Constitution protects free speech and that the Supreme Court would never allow the treason charge to stand. When this comment was offered by a young lawyer and new member of the team, the President’s face turned red, and he shouted, “How many times do I have to tell you people that all the Constitution protects is speech. The assholes who failed to clap did not say a word. When they failed to stand, they did not say a word. This is not speech, it is silence, and the Constitution does not say a word about protecting silence. They are all guilty, guilty as hell, and they will pay for this! Besides I know I have five votes on the Court that will support this. I have already checked.”

Vice President Pence applauded and stood up.

A second discussion followed regarding how the executions would actually happen and if anyone knew of American companies that specialized in making a gallows or a guillotine. A young aid volunteered to do research on American execution companies. There was also considerable discussion regarding the pros and cons of each execution device versus the electric chair or a very large firing squad. Since several hundred Congressmen and Senators would need to be executed in a short period of time, that would require many devices. After further discussion the group decided to go with the guillotine for its historic significance and its shock value. Trump directed Junior to form a new company, “Trump Execution Inc.” and get to work building these devices immediately. The final plan would call for them to be placed around the Capitol in a very large circle; and when the Greatest-Military Parade-in-The-History-of-the-World reached the Capitol, the executions would begin. Jet planes from the military would fly overhead and fireworks would be set off everywhere. Thousands of temporary stadium stands would be erected around the Capitol allowing hundreds of thousands of paying customers to watch this historic event. One of Trump’s aids reported that it will actually make money. The Koch Brothers had already reserved over 1,000 seats at an average cost of $500 a ticket.

Trump concluded the meeting by smiling and expounding, “This is one thing that history will remember me for. Standing up for what is right. Standing up for the Constitution of the United States. Standing up for respect. Standing up for patriotism and love of America. Standing up for the American people. At last the country and the world will respect me.”

Vice President Pence stood up again and applauded.

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Last week all members of the Republican Congress and Senate met at the exclusive Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia for a two-day retreat and strategy session and to salute President Trump, who attended the affair. The event got off to a shaky start when the Amtrak Train carrying most of the attendees hit   a truck and killed the driver, but that did not diminish the exuberance and enthusiasm surrounding their popular president. Before Trump arrived three long lines formed which led to three different doors. The sign on the first door read, “Kiss His Ring.” The sign on the second read “Kiss His Ass” and the third simply read “Worship Him.” All those standing in line were alerted that they were expected to bring gifts and express their praise and gratitude during their brief moment with the president.

But that was not the big story of the event. The big story as learned by Faux News and verified by three independent and reliable sources was what has been referred to as the “Secret Assembly.” During the time that members were standing in line for their chance to kiss part of the president’s anatomy or to worship him, a top secret meeting was taking place in what was formerly the nuclear bunker, deep under the mountain behind the resort. One dozen, carefully chosen participants attended including the Speaker of the House, the Majority Leader of the Senate, and the leaders of the various Republican caucuses. Also present were several major Republican donors including the Koch Brothers and the Mercers. The purpose of the meeting was to hear the report of the 2018 Victory Team, which had just completed its highly classified assessment of the prospects for a Republican victory in 2018 and 2020. The Victory Team had enlisted the services of the international consulting firm, Annihilation Consulting Inc., with offices in Moscow and New York. The following is a transcript of the address made by the president of Annihilation Consulting, Alexi Krovsnovsky, a Russian private citizen with alleged strong ties to Vladimir Putin. Krovsnovsky had made a clandestine arrival at the resort the night before, dressed as a garbage collector.

Krovsnovsky [speaking with a heavy Russian accent]: Gentlemen, thank you for giving Annihilation Consulting the Opportunity to present our findings regarding the prospects for a Republican victory in 2018 and in 2020. I have bad news and I have good news. The bad news is that our research indicates that unless the current mood of your country changes, the Democrats will retake the House and the Senate in 2018 and that the U.S. will have a Democratic president in 2020. The good news is that this won’t happen. Allow me to explain why and how, if you follow our recommendations, the Republican Party will not only win but will transform the United States in ways that before now were unimaginable.

Let me begin.

The key to Republican success in both 2018 and 2020 will be the Russians. The Russians did it for you in 2016 and –and this is very important–if you are able to meet certain demands and expectations, the Russians will do it again. The kind of technology the Russians have created and the power that goes with it is unprecedented and beyond anything the world has ever seen. Think of 2016 as a rehearsal. The Russians were merely using cap guns. Now the Russians are rolling out their full arsenal and will be using real bullets. In fact the big show is already starting. Have you been following the tweets on the Nunes memo? Not only do Russians have the social media strategies laid out with bots and tweets, the Russians now have the technology to change virtually every vote cast in every precinct in the United States. In other words the Russians will decide who wins and by how much. And even more significant, you are so far behind in the U.S. that there is nothing that anyone can do about it for 2018—if the Russians stay involved; and if you Republicans play your cards right, 2020 will also be yours for the asking. But there is a catch. The Russians can decide not to get involved. They will get your people elected only if you play ball. I have this information directly from the lips of my good friend, Vladimir Putin.

[There is stunned silence for a moment and then various attendees start to shout questions.]

Mr. Ryan: Quiet, quiet. Let us hear what else he has to say. Mr. Krovsnovsky, what are the conditions that the Russians expect? How do we play ball?

Mr. K. It is very simple. One, you stop the investigation about the Russian involvement in the 2016 election and fire everyone involved. Two, you apologize to Russia for the fake investigation. Three, you curb the American free press. They are a nuisance and spread fake news. Four, you roll back all sanctions against Russia and, five, you enter into a new relationship with Russia based on mutual respect and mutual interests. Vladimir has asked me to remind you that between the U.S. and Russia the two countries will control 90 percent of the nuclear weapons on the planet and working together could relatively easily take care of annoyances like North Korea. Russia will not demand that you get out of NATO immediately and will not expect anything that might be called radical—at least not at first. But think of what you will get in return. The election results you want in perpetuity. The Democratic Party would essentially be finished. Even if the U.S. were eventually able to stop election “engineering,” as we call it in Russia, the damage would be done. There would be no turning back. There is, of course, a sixth requirement: No one must know about this. Absolutely no one besides those here in this Secret Assembly. Leakers will be annihilated.

Mr. Ryan: Thank you, Mr. Krovsnovsky, this is very interesting and something we will consider seriously. You must be reminded that in the U.S. we believe in free and fair elections and in a free press. But I also have to say that there is nothing that you have said today that would lead me to conclude that we could not work with Russia to further the rule of law and democracy and freedom of speech. We share your values and look forward to a fruitful future working together to bring peace, prosperity, free speech, and democracy to the entire world.

[Meeting ends with wild applause.]

 

 

 

 

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For those who have wondered why no recent posts, I am recovering from a knee replacement, which happened on January 18, which now seems like months ago. I am graduating from my “what on Earth was I thinking stage” to “maybe this will have a happy ending after all stage” but I still have a ways to go. My orthopod doctor friends were right: This is not a procedure to be treated lightly.

Actually I was not all that enthused about the idea of a knee replacement anyway, though when increasing pain in my right knee prevented me from my routine powerwalks, two years ago I decided to take the first step, got knee x-rays and visited the orthopedic doctor at Kaiser Permanente, our health care provider. The doctor, who was not all that much younger than me, after reviewing the x-rays concluded, “Well you clearly need a knee replacement—you have zero cartilage in your right knee– but you are not going to get one here.”

“Why not?” I responded with some incredulity.

“Well, you walked in here didn’t you? Besides if you think you have a problem, my knee is worse than yours. Just take a look at this.”

He pulled up his pants leg and asked me to feel his knee as it creaked when he moved it.

“Well, then why don’t you get a knee replacement?”

“Are you kidding?” he replied, “Do you have any idea what is involved? No way!”

That was all I needed to hear. No knee replacement for me. I hobbled back to the Metro Station to head home, relieved that I had just dodged a bullet.

Some time went by and my condition continued to worsen. One friend said he had a doctor friend who was an expert on knees and I should get a second opinion. I made an appointment and found out to my surprise that he was not an orthopedic surgeon but rather an internist who specialized in regenerative medicine. He said these orthopedic guys really didn’t know what they were doing, and the answer for a bad knee was in stem cells. For a mere $5K he could do a stem cell transplant and it would be cured. The missing cartilage would grow back in a few months, and I would be fine. While he advised that no insurance covers this procedure due to outrageous insurance requirements, he was convinced that stem cell treatments work. He said even the skeptics agree that stem cell transplants have had great success in animals, especially racehorses. By his own informal research, he claimed success with over 80% of his patients, better even than you get from full knee replacements.

The idea of thinking of myself as a racehorse was uplifting and energizing. I envisioned a sleek, black animal charging toward the finish line with crowds cheering. It was not a major step to think of myself as that animal, given up for lost; but now, even though past my prime, I was charging ahead of the pack, stomping the competition with my regenerated knee. In a year I would be back on the tennis courts.

“When can I get one?” I burst out.

He smiled and signed me up for the next week.

I was hyped. The next Friday I hobbled into his office with great expectations as he extracted fat cells (plenty to work with) from my stomach with a large hypodermic needle. With help from his assistant he mixed the cells into a “stem cell cocktail,” which he then injected into my knee. The whole procedure took about an hour, and I was a tad sore but no worse for wear as I inched my way into the waiting room where Embry was patiently waiting to drive me home.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I think I will have a regenerated knee in no time and galloping in the Kentucky Derby.”

Time passed. The doctor said that I really needed to give the procedure several months to work, and after about a year, my knee would be back to normal. It is debatable whether the procedure made any difference. At first I thought that it did, but Embry remained skeptical, noting that my limp was as bad as ever. In any event, the doctor did give me a questionnaire to fill out regarding my progress but never asked me to return it to him. I was beginning to question the validity of his research.

What really did me in, however, were the periodic visits to the doctor following the procedure to determine progress. One was scheduled for every four to six weeks, which would translate to around eight visits over the course of the year. I went to the first three, each of which involved using an ultrasound device to see how the new cartilage was coming along with the doctor smiling and encouraging me “to keep it up.” The cost of these visits—which took about 20 minutes —averaged about $1,500 each. When my protests regarding the outrageous price fell on deaf ears, I quit going, saving myself about $10,000. As it was, the $5,000 procedure ended up being a $9,500 ordeal. Enough was enough.

So I told myself, maybe I won’t turn out to be a sleek racehorse after all. And really, what’s so bad about having a bad knee anyway? I compensated for giving up my powerwalks by swimming 30 minutes in the lap pool in the basement of our apartment four or five times a week. While life was not perfect, it could surely be a lot worse.

Then came our Japan Trip. I believe I posted this; but if you have not read it and would like to, just let me know and I will be sure you get a copy. Embry had signed us up for what she described as a Road Scholar geezer trip. We would basically be on a bus most of the time going from temple to shrine to temple with a bunch of other old folks, many using walkers and canes. Compared to our around-the-world-without-flying adventure in 2015 and our road trip out West and back in 2016, this sounded to me like a perfect respite. The only problem was that Embry had failed to read the fine print, which rated this trip   “most challenging and difficult” involving walking up to five miles a day and exclusive use of public transportation to get around. During the course of this experience—which I am proud to report I did survive but with considerable difficulty– the knee issue bubbled up again to the surface.

The decision to revisit the replacement option actually happened in San Francisco where we stopped for a few days to visit friends prior to boarding our flight to Tokyo. I visited the urgent care center at Kaiser to get them to check on swelling around the knee, which they ended up draining and giving the knee an injection of cortisone. The doctor there seemed very knowledgeable and specialized in sports medicine, particularly knees. When I told him about my stem cell treatment and how much it cost, he said he could not believe it and suggested I report the doctor to law enforcement for armed robbery. While they might work someday, he was emphatic that there was no reliable evidence showing that stem cell treatment was successful for humans. What I really needed was a knee replacement. Period.

“But,” I protested, “They won’t give me one in DC. If you are able to walk into the doctor’s office, you are automatically disqualified.”

“Oh, don’t let that bother you,” he said, “This is just Kaiser’s way of triage. If we performed knee surgery on everyone who wanted one, do you have any idea how many doctors we would need? The boomers have arrived and they all need new knees.”

“So then how do I get a knee replacement?”

“Badger the hell out of them.”

The day we returned from the Japan Walking Tour, I wrote the following email to my orthopedic doctor:

Please confirm for the record the following information:

1. Kaiser has concluded that I (Joe Howell) need a knee replacement because I have no cartilage in my right knee.
2. Kaiser will not give me a knee replacement because I was able to walk into your office.
3. Kaiser will also not sign off on a knee brace permitting Medicare coverage [another incident] because Kaiser only allows their own braces to be used.

Two hours later I received an email response. “Come into the office tomorrow and we will give you a knee replacement.”

So that is how I finally got made my way to the operating room for a knee replacement. The operation did not happen the next day but about three months later and by another surgeon. I refused to let that old guy operate on me and was told that was not a problem because he had retired about the time he received my email. My new doctor was in his mid 40s, all business and very serious. I asked him if he knew what he was doing and he said yes. That was enough for me.

I was later told the operation went well. The main thing I remember was being in the recovery room and hearing two emergency announcements over the loud speaker, “Heart attack in Operating Room D,” and minutes later. “Stroke In Operating Room F.” I made a mental note that at least I had dodged those bullets.

So I am now in Week Three of recovery. By all accounts it will probably take three months before I am back to where I was before the operation and perhaps as much as a year before I forget I ever had a knee problem. Physical therapy is a big part of this, and I am working very hard at it. If you asked me at the end of week one whether I had made the right decision, my response would have been, “Are you kidding me? Whose idea was this anyway?” I now am much more sanguine but taking it a day at a time. Next week my hope is that I will be able to get out and about some but probably won’t be able to drive for another month.

The best part of all this is the afternoon tea and cookies events with friends who responded to Embry’s Doodle poll and have stopped by for visits. That has made all the difference and I am so grateful to Embry for setting these up and for the friends and family who have stopped by.

So now you know why I stopped blogging. Stay tuned for a Faux News posting shortly. Lots of good material these days!

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Washington DC, January 16, 2017. In one of the most unusual occurrences in U.S. history, a joint session of the Senate and the House of Representatives this afternoon resulted in fist fighting between scores of elected leaders on both sides of the aisle. Multiple injuries were reported, and several officials have been hospitalized though none of the injuries appear to be life threatening.

The reason for the melee was an argument over the difference in meaning between “shithole” and “shithouse.”

Several days ago President Trump was reported by Dick Durbin, U.S. Senator from Illinois, as referring to virtually all African countries and Haiti as “shitholes.” This charge was vigorously denied by two of the Republican Senators, David Perdue (GA) and Tom Cotton (Ark), who were present at the meeting and have categorically denied that the President said anything of the sort or made any comments critical of any country. They have called Senator Durbin a liar and have demanded investigations by the Senate Ethics Committee. Some Republicans are calling for Durbin to be removed from office. Others are calling him a traitor.

This weekend in interviews by the press and comments on televised talk shows, the Republican Senators confirmed that the word the President used was not “shitholes” but rather “shithouses” and repeated their demands for Durbin to be censored by the Senate. Senator Durbin, however, stands by his assertion that the term was “shitholes” and appears to be backed up by Republican Senator Lindsey Graham (SC), who was also at the meeting.

In a news conference this morning, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, explained why this is important. “What you have to understand,” she said , “Is that there is a huge difference between a shithole and a shithouse. A shithouse is simply a bathroom, and as you may know some of Trump’s supporters refer to bathrooms as shithouses. That is why he used the term. But for the President this is not a derogatory term at all but actually one of endearment. Have you seen any of the bathrooms in Trump Tower in New York or the Trump Hotel in DC? They are literally gold plated. Gold plated everything, even toilet seats. What is more, the toilets in Trump Hotels have water sprays that spray up on your, err, bottom just like they do in Japan. Trump loves these toilets. People pay big money for this. They are the hallmark of his hotels and luxury resorts and to even suggest that calling another country a shithouse is an insult just shows how dumb Democrats are and how they don’t understand the American people. Trump’s supporters know this and that is why his ratings skyrocketed after this comment came out in the press. On the other hand, a shithole is, well, a shithole, and President Trump would never use a term like this since he has never used profanity. This is why we are asking for impeachment proceedings to begin against Little Dickey Durbin.”

These comments were not received well by Democrats, who described the situation as a constitutional crisis and demanded a joint session of Congress to resolve the matter before it gets further out of hand. The White House, hoping this would enable the crisis to pass, granted the demand. The unusual joint session started this afternoon at 1:00P.M. The meeting was chaired by the Vice President, who opened his remarks by saying that the purpose of the event was to once and for all settle the difference between a shithole and a shithouse and that a voice vote would be taken at the end of the meeting after the presentations by five experts in the field of flush consulting.

Before Pence could finish his remarks, however, chanting broke out on the Republican side with virtually all Republican elected officials screaming at the top or their lungs, “ShitHOUSE, ShitHOUSE, ShitHOUSE!”

Seconds later the Democratic side erupted with chants of “ShitHOLE. ShitHOLE, ShitHOLE!”

Chaos then consumed the chamber as the Vice President banged his gavel and unsuccessfully demanded decorum. Moments later fighting broke out in the aisles. Emergency calls were made first to the Capitol Police, then the National Guard and finally the U.S. Army. Order was finally restored at 3:00 P.M. but not before scores of Congressmen and Senators had been taken to local hospitals. Details are not yet available regarding the casualties.

Trump tweeted during the melee, “Kick it to ‘em, gang! Shove ‘em down a shithole.” The tweet was retracted by Admiral Kelly seconds after it was posted.

There are reports that across the country rallies for shitholes and rallies for shithouses will be taking place this evening. As a precautionary matter, most governors have put their national guard units on high alert. More information will be forthcoming as it becomes available.

 

      

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Washington, DC , January 13, 2018. President Trump’s remarks that the U.S. would take action against the immigrants from “shithole countries” has set off an international firestorm in a world-wide effort to determine which countries are “shithole countries.” Except for Norway, world leaders in virtually every country are scrambling to assure their citizens—and those who have immigrated to the U.S. or have ancestors who have immigrated to the U.S.—that they are not shitholes. The White House reports that the phones have been ringing off the hook with calls from worried leaders and ambassadors.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders responded at a hastily called news conference this morning that the President specifically singled out only a few countries as definitely being shitholes, “You know, “ she said, “the usual suspects. All the ones in Africa and South America, the Caribbean and definitely North Korea and maybe all the other ones in Asia except for Japan and South Korea and maybe some others.” When asked by a reporter if she could provide a specific list, she replied that no one in the White House actually knew the names of most of the countries in these locations but they were working hard to put together a list. She added that she could only name one country, Mexico, which she said would remain at the top of the shithole list until it paid for the Wall. She said North Korea was in a close second place. When asked if the President had ever visited any of the countries in Africa or South America, she responded that the President does not visit shitholes.

Confirmed reports indicate the assurances from the White House have not provided much comfort to world leaders. Prime Minister Teresa May called the White House to ask if Trump had cancelled his trip to the UK to dedicate the new U.S. embassy because Great Britain was a shithole country. President Macron called to ask if France was in this category because it supported the Paris Climate Accord. Angela Merkel of Germany called to see if they were on the list because they have welcomed immigrants. Justin Trudeau called from Canada to ask if they were shitholes because they welcome distressed Democrats fleeing from the U.S. The situation was only aggravated this morning when Trump tweeted, “Shithole or no shithole? It depends.” In a later tweet he said he would let people know when he got around to it if they were shitholes or not, and for now there was only one other country besides Norway that he would say was definitely not on the list and that was Russia.

Moments later Erna Solberg, the President of Norway, tweeted to the President. “Thanks but no thanks. Do you think anyone from my country would move to the U.S.? Like you, we avoid shitholes.”

 

 

 

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Immigration is again back on the front burner. The fate of the “Dreamers” is still uncertain as are a whole bunch of other issues like who gets into the U.S. and who gets locked up and/or thrown out.

Embry and I have close relationships with two immigrant families, each of whom lived for a time in the basement apartment of close friends of ours. The first family is the Dreamer family. The husband came here from Mexico when he was 15, spoke minimal English, and had only a third grade education. He managed to find a job in construction in Richmond, and moved to the Washington area to be with his now wife, who came to the U.S. about 15 years ago from Central America and is now one of Washington’s “super nannies.” By studying hard, he was able to get his GED, now speaks fluent English, and was awarded Dreamer status several years ago. Four years ago he started his own construction company, which rehabilitates and remodels old houses, and has done well enough to permit him to purchase and rennovate his new home, which now looks like something out of Architectural Digest. They have a six-year-old son. They are involved in their local community, love the United States, and remain very close friends with our friends and with us. They are like family.

And they are terrified that if their Dreamer status is removed they will be deported.

Think about what they have accomplished and how they have played the hand they were dealt. They are the quintessential American success story. Theirs is also the immigrant story. Of course, not all immigrant stories turn out like this one, but a lot do. Trump can say whatever he wants to about making America great again. Immigrants are what made America great in the first place and are still doing it.

The second family is the refugee family. They immigrated to the U.S. about a year ago as part of the U.N. refugee resettlement program. Their experience has given me a new understanding of what some people, especially refugees, go through to make it to the U.S. and what they do when they get here. The husband is from Afghanistan and fled the country when the Taliban was in charge. Because schools were closed, he never learned to read or write. He opposed the Taliban and to avoid being killed escaped to Iran where he met the woman whom he would later marry. His father-in-law did not approve of his daughter marrying an Afghan, and his constant threats resulted in husband and wife fleeing on foot with a toddler in tow across the mountains to Turkey. They struggled to survive in Turkey for five years where they became part of a large refugee population hoping to find permanent homes. They were finally granted U.N. refugee status and arrived in the U.S. with two daughters—a two-year-old and a six-year-old, no money, no possessions and no connections or friends in the U.S. When our friends offered their tiny basement apartment to be available for refugee resettlement, they moved in.

Embry and I each spend a day every week driving the mother to English classes and delivering the toddler to kindergarten along with numerous trips to the pharmacy, the social services office to try to straighten out problems associated with refugee support, and to take her and the children to various doctors. Despite some health issues, she is always cheerful, has a twinkle in her eye, and with her limited English lets us know how grateful she is.

When I think what it would have been like for Embry and me when we were young parents to flee to Afghanistan with no money, no job, no friends, and no ability to speak or write their language, I am in awe of this family.

What stands out most about the refugee family is their determination, energy, and grit. They will not take no for an answer. Within the first couple of months, the father managed to get a driver’s license, buy a cheap car from the imam at the local mosque where the father was a dishwasher, then land on his own a job as a welder paying $14 an hour. (He had been a welder in Afghanistan.)

I wondered how anyone who could not read in any language or speak English could possibly get a drivers license. I found out how this worked when last fall his wife directed me to take her to the Department of Motor Vehicles where she met for the first time a Farsi translator, whom she had paid $175 to assist her. The DMV test is oral, and the translator repeats in Farsi the questions asked by the public official and then translates in English the answers of the Farsi-speaking applicant. The translator had two other clients that day as well and was racing back and forth to do the translations. When the test was completed and I asked if the refugee had passed, the translator said, “ Of course she passed. All my clients do.” When I asked incredulously what the score was, she said she did not know because the results weren’t yet available. A few minutes later the results came in, and our refugee had a perfect score.

So in a few months this family was able to solve on their own the car challenge and the job challenge.

The next challenge was the housing situation. Their apartment was very small, only about 500 square feet, and cold in the winter. However, it was affordable at about $500/month  after taking into account in-kind housecleaning assistance. Despite their friendship with our friends’ family, they wanted something bigger and better. No way, I concluded. His income of $14/ hour ($28,000/year) would allow the family to afford a unit renting for $800-$850 a month. The cheapest two-bedroom in the working class neighborhood they lived in was about $1,500 a month. I had contacted many apartment complexes in the area months before for another refugee family, and the leasing agents all said the same thing: The applicant had to show proof of an income of $40,000 a year to qualify for a two-bedroom unit. No exceptions.

You can imagine my surprise last week when the wife directed me to the same apartment complex a few blocks from our friends’ house, the one I had visited before and where the other refugee family now lived—but in their case the family’s church sponsors were paying the rent. She said she was going to pick up the key. “What on earth could she be thinking?” I asked myself.

To my astonishment we were greeted by a smiling leasing agent, who (after I paid the deposit) produced a signed lease and a key to a unit renting for $1,300 (discounted from the original asking price of $1,500). I could not help asking the agent if they had qualified financially. He nodded and produced documents showing pay stubs averaging $800/ week ($41,600/year). He added, “Yeah, I know the guy makes only $14/hour, but, hey, he works 60 hours a week. “

Naturally I wanted to see the apartment. Before we could enter the vacant unit, the wife said I had to take her home first, which I did. She scampered down the stairs to her basement apartment and returned moments later smiling and carrying a beautiful, leather-bound book in her hands. It was the Koran.

When we got to the apartment, she slowly opened the door while I stood in the doorway. She looked carefully around the bare living room and then gently placed the Koran in the center of a windowsill facing east. She stood silently in front of it for a brief moment and then motioned for me to enter. They had now solved the housing challenge.

All these obstacles they overcame on their own through uncompromising determination.

This is not to suggest that they are home free or that the Dreamer family is home free. Lots more challenges remain. Life is hard. For some it is much harder than for others.

But can you imagine yourself playing the cards that these two families have been dealt? Their stories are the immigrant story. They are what make America great.

 

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You may not be old or you may be old but don’t think of yourself as such, but it really does not matter. If you are lucky, you will be old someday. There is great news for those of us who are old, whether we like to think of ourselves as such or not.

(In fact some people are already old in their twenties or thirties. Others never see themselves as old. My friend, tennis icon, Allie Ritzenberg, just turned 99. He still drives, plays tennis, cooks his own (gourmet) meals, and lives in a house with breathtaking views of the Potomac River. He says he thought about moving into a retirement community but is “not ready yet.” At his 99^th birthday party he was complaining about getting “only” a seven year extension on his drivers license.)

Here is the great news for us “old folks”: We have a new name.

Remember how hard it used to be to come up with a name for us? There are so many names that have been used to describe us. Here are a few: “aged,” “retiree,” “senior” (or “senior citizen”), “elderly,” “oldster,” “septuagenarian” (or “octogenarian,” “nonagenarian” or “centenarian”), “old codger,” “geezer,” “old coot,” “old biddy,” “golden-ager,” “old-timer,” “old fogey,” “old bat,” “geriatric,” “pops,” and last but not least “old fart.”

I don’t know about you, but except for “geezer,” I never felt any of these names aptly applied to me.

As many of you know, my career was spent in the field of what is called “retirement housing” or “senior living,” and which I confess I have lovingly referred to from time to time as “geezer housing.” “Retirement Housing” and “Senior Living” aren’t all that bad as names but never seemed to get it just right. I kept thinking we should have better words for people who are in their (our) 70s and 80s.

Well, now there is one. We are “Perennials.” This appeared in an op-ed piece in the Washington Post a couple of days ago. How clever, I thought. It sounds a lot like “Millennials,” who are getting all the attention nowadays, and yet is so apt for us survivors. We who are in our 70s and 80s or more and who do survive from one year to the next just keep coming back like the daffodils and tulips every spring. We are in fact “perennials.” I do not know if the name will stick or if anyone will remember it a few days from now, but it sure beats “geezer.”

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Many who have suffered through the last 12 months thought it was a pretty bad year but eventful nonetheless. Perhaps historic. But 2017 will be nothing when compared to 2018. Here are my predictions:

• January. On January 2, Trump tweets that by executive order the capital of the United States will move from Washington, DC to Mar-a-Lago effective immediately. Republicans will be provided free room and board at the resort. Democrats will fend for themselves. The President states in his prepared remarks, “This is beautiful and incredible, and if I can change the capital of Israel, I surely can do it here!” Pence praises Trump as the greatest president to ever live. Nicki Haley announces the U.S. is pulling out of the U.N. and forming a new international body called the “United Alliance,” consisting of all of America’s allies and friends—Honduras, Guatemala, Togo, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau, and Israel. She says all other nations are officially black listed. Trump praises Haley, saying the move is long overdue.

 

• February. In a long-anticipated move, Trump orders the firing of Robert Mueller, who is removed from his office in handcuffs. Assistant Attorney General Rosenstein objects and is fired immediately and jailed. Trump appoints Roy Moore to replace Rosenstein, and Moore immediately cancels the FBI investigation stating, “There never was a spec of evidence showing the Russians had anything to do with U.S. elections. Period.” Pence applauds the move, tweeting that Trump is the greatest president to ever live. Moore is promoted to attorney general replacing Jeff Sessions, who is hospitalized following an opioid overdose. Trump appoints David Duke, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, to replace Moore as Deputy Attorney General, stating in a nationally televised address that Duke has been misunderstood and actually represents “the true values of America, the best we have.”

 

• March. Ginsburg retires from the Supreme Court. Trump nominates Moore, who is confirmed along party lines using the reconciliation process. David Duke is promoted to Attorney General to replace Moore. The stock market reaches one record high after another as the American public experiences the enormous tax savings to the middle class, about $200 a year average for those making under $60,000 a year. Pence tweets again that Trump is the greatest human being “to walk on the face of the Earth.”

 

• April. Trump achieves what some have described as his only foreign policy achievement by swapping the Atlanta Hawks (record 8-25) professional basketball team for Kim-jon-Un’s entire nuclear arsenal. Tillerson is fired and replaced by Dennis Rodman as Secretary of State. In an unrelated move, Putin purchases the Charlotte Panthers from owner Jerry Richardson, who is forced to sell the team because of allegations of sexual misconduct. Putin announces he is building a   new football stadium in Moscow, which he is calling Trump Stadium in honor of “ his close friend, the American President.” Pence tweets that Trump is a man “with Messianic qualities.”

 

• May. By executive order Trump declares that climate change is a hoax and that the EPA will be repositioned and rebranded as the “Environmental Production Agency.” All national parks will be sold immediately to corporations, which Trump says now have “money to burn because of so many beautiful and incredible tax savings.”

 

• June. Trump proposes a bill, which passes along party lines declaring the New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC and the New Yorker as fake new organizations and orders that all fake news organizations be closed and reporters of fake news be jailed. Joe Scarborough is arrested immediately. The law is upheld by the Supreme Court as being constitutional, and Roy Moore, who cast the decisive vote, praises Trump as the greatest man to ever live. Pence calls a press conference to say he loves the President more than Roy Moore does.

 

• July. With Trump’s support, Congress passes along party lines a “Total Entitlement Reform Act” which eliminates Medicaid, Social Security, the Affordable Care Act, and Medicare, and replaces them with a Trump Card. The act does not state what the Trump Card actually does. The CBO predicts that the act will eliminate the entire deficit in 25 years. Paul Ryan declares this the “greatest victory of all time” and immediately calls for more tax cuts to help the embattled one per centers, “who are unfairly stuck with footing the cost of government.” When Trump’s popularity sinks into the single digits, the President declares public opinion polls illegal and all opinion researchers are subject to arrest. Pence again weeps with joy in public when trying to express his love for the President.

 

• August. Trump tweets that all DACA recipients will be arrested and jailed immediately and be relocated into what formerly were Trump luxury hotels in “heavily Democratic big cities and in hostile countries around the world where occupancy has fallen off.” Trump proudly tweets that the hotels have been repositioned and rebranded as “penal resorts” and that the DACAs will love living there. He also announces the completion of the Border Wall, which has been secretly under construction since January using forced labor from all of the United States’ friends and allies– Honduras, Togo, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau and political prisoners from Israel. The cost to the U.S. tax payer is described by newly appointed press secretary, Nancy Moore (wife of Roy Moore), as zero.

 

• September. Trump tweets that his policies have resulted in unemployment dropping to a “negative 10 percent,” which means that 110% percent of the American population willing and able to work are working in full time jobs.   The statistics are supplied by the new “Truth Agency,” created by the Trump Administration and criticized by Democrats as a “fake agency.” Trump tweets that this historically low unemployment is ” a beautiful, incredible success” and final proof that at long last he has made America truly great again. Elected and unelected rulers in Honduras, Togo, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau and Israel express their congratulations. 

 

• October.Trump unexpectedly resigns on the last day of the month. He has not been seen publicly for several weeks and tweets that since he has made America great again, there is nothing left to be done. He expresses confidence in his successor, Vice President Pence, who is sworn in at midnight. Trump immediately departs the capital of Mar-a-Lago on Air Force One with his family en route to Russia where he will reside in the new “Trump Palace” located next to the residence of Vladimir Putin.

 

• November. Pence becomes President. In a address to the nation he states that it will be almost impossible to follow someone so great, so good and so “Messianic” but that he is up to the job. He tweets, “I am not a lackey. I am not a lackey. I am not a lackey. And also I am not a lap dog.” Congressional elections are completed, and despite Russian intervention, Democrats win enough seats in both the House and the Senate to retake control of Congress.

 

• December-January. On New Year’s Eve fourteen #metoo women bring charges against Pence as a perpetual sex offender. Several days later he is forced to resign in disgrace, tweeting, “ I told you I was not a lackey.” The new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is sworn in as President. The new Congress repeals all the laws and regulations passed by Congress under Trump and votes to rejoin the UN. The capital moves back to Washington. Fake News reporters are released from prison. “Morning Joe” comes back on the air. In Russia Trump reveals his tax returns, tweeting that he has become the richest man on the planet. Putin is number two. The New York Times, now back in business for the first time since June, notes that that the tax returns also show that the year before he was elected, Trump did not even make the richest 1,000 list.

 

So it is on to 2019….The NBA team, Korean Hawks, starts the year in first place in the NBA. The Democratic-controlled Congress appointments a special prosecutor, Robert Mueller, to investigate how Trump made so much money during his  18 months as President. Democrats breathe a long sigh of relief. Republicans swear to oppose everything. Life goes on….

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