A One Act Play: The 2024 Presidential Candidacy of George Santos

Scene: The cloak room of the Senate, often used by Republicans.

Republican Senator One: “Well, since there seems to be a good chance that Trump  might be behind bars when the next election happens in 2024, I think we should have a backup candidate, and my vote would go to George Santos. He’s the guy to carry the torch.

Republican Senator Two: I agree. I favor him as much as you do. He has all the qualities we want and need. He has a fabulous resume, a true Horatio Alger story, plus he stands for everything Trump does and will fight hard.

Republican Staffer: Are you sure? I have been responsible for investigating all the controversy surrounding this man and have done some fact checking. I have some questions.

Republican Senator One: Well, for starters he went to a great college. Baruch College . Hard to get into, terrific school.

 Republican Staffer: Except he didn’t. No record that he attended the school.

Republican Senator One: He had to. He was a volleyball star there plus he has an MBA from NYU. You can’t have an MBA if you don’t go to college.

Republican Staffer: No record of an MBA from NYU or attending the NYU graduate school. In fact, no record of a college degree anywhere. Also, no evidence that he ever played volleyball, not that it is all that important.

Republican Senator One: Well, you are right. That isn’t all that important. Just look at his successful career. He was a high level executive at Citi Group and at Goldman Sachs and worked at Blackstone.

Republican Staffer: Would be great except there is no record of his being employed at any of these firms. I talked with HR people at each firm and no one ever heard of the guy.

Republican Senator Two: Maybe they did not keep good records. And what about his real estate career? He was a big time landlord in New York City and complained about all the deadbeats who owed him rent money.

Republican Staffer: Unfortunately, there is no record of Santos owning any property in New York or anywhere else. But there are numerous court records of Santos being brought into court for failing to pay rent.

Republican Senator Two:  Well, that is a minor item, and I for one do not believe he wouldn’t pay rent.  He has a lot of money, right? Hey, he lent his campaign over $700,000, so he must have a lot of money.

 Republican Staffer: His tax returns showed an income of only $55,000 in 2020. Plus, he applied for and received unemployment benefits from the Covid relief funds of $24,000 in 2020 and 2021.  He may have made around $100,000 during that period when he worked for an investment firm in Florida, but it coincided with the time he claimed unemployment insurance during the covid pandemic. 

 Republican Senator Two: Well, the money had to come from somewhere.

Republican Staffer: That is one of the reasons he is being investigated by the FBI.

Republican Senator One: Partisan attack by scum bag Democrats, who have weaponized the FBI. Who are you going to believe, Santos or the FBI? Plus, he has an inspiring personal history. This makes him a compelling presidential candidate. His Jewish grandparents were Holocaust survivors, for goodness sake! They came to the U.S. penniless.

Republican Staffer: When his mother immigrated from Brazil, she listed her parents as being born in Brazil. And there is also nothing about being Jewish or ever living in Europe.

Republican Senator Two: Well, being a Jew is not all that helpful anyway in a national election as it is in New York City. So, what if he is not Jewish? Think of all that he has been through. Take the Nine-Eleven attack on the World Trade Center in 2001. His mother was working there as a high level business executive in the South Tower and died from the toxic dust. Tragedy, real tragedy. Tear jerker. The American public will relate to that.

Republican Staffer: Except his mother was living in Brazil at the time and listed her occupation as “housekeeper and home aide” on her immigration papers, when she immigrated to the U.S. in 2003.

Republican Senator One: Not all that important. And another inspiring part of his life was his championing animal rights. That should be compelling. He started his own charity, a nonprofit, tax exempt organization called “Friends of Pets United.” He personally rescued 2,400 dogs and 280 cats. This will really go over well with the animal lovers.

Republican Staffer: The part about the nonprofit company appears correct except it was never registered with the IRS as is required, and there are multiple accusations that he stole money from the nonprofit for his personal use. This is another item under investigation by the FBI.

Republican Senator One: Well, another positive factor is that in his first run for office in 2020, his election was stolen just like what happened to Trump that year. Republicans will rally behind a candidate who experienced election fraud and who supports Trump’s proven accusations of election fraud. Look, we all know the Democrats cheat all the time and that Trump won in 2020….Son, you might have tried to find the facts, but all you have told us amounts to a “he said, she said” deal. Believe who you want to, but we know that all this is a  plot by Democrats to keep this likely candidate at bay. What we need now is a strong backup candidate should Trump end up in the slammer, and Santos, frankly, is the best we have. Kevin McCarthy loves him. Lindsley Graham loves him. Mitch loves him. He’s the best we got.

Republican Staffer: Did you know he has been charged with seven counts of wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, one count of theft of public funds, and two counts of making false statements to the House of Representatives?

Senator Number One: So what? Accusations happen in every election. No big deal. He hasn’t been convicted, has he? That is the only thing that counts. All made up charges, if you ask me. Besides, son, you better watch yourself. He may end up being the next President of the United States.

Staffer departs from the cloak room with no comment. Senators rush off to vote.



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