Faux News: The Trump/Putin Summit

The big summit will not happen until next week, but Faux News has inside information regarding how the historic event will unfold as described below:

The two men enter the room alone with no one else present. They shake hands, embrace and then shake hands again, then embrace and shake hands a third time.

Trump: Vladdy!

Putin: Donny-Boy!

Trump: At last alone. Nobody but us.

Putin: Mr. President, I have to tell you how much I admire—and yes, love you. You are  a great leader of a great nation, and it is my distinct honor to be alone in the same room with a man who will go down in history as the greatest leader of all time.

Trump: Except for you, Mr. President.

Putin: Of course, but let’s get down to the basics since we have so little time. First, Donny-Boy, the sanctions. I want them removed and removed now.

Trump: I know, Vladdy. I am working on it, but you see I have this pesky congress.

Putin: You have got them where you want them.  McConnell and Ryan will do anything you want as will everyone else who is a Republican and not retiring. I am beginning to lose patience. You must not forget that you have made America great again. You have pulled your country out of the Obama sewer, and the whole world respects and fears you. You can do whatever you want.

Trump: I know, but I also have these pesky mid term elections coming up.

Putin: No worry, Donny-Boy. We have already taken care of that. You will  gain four Senate seats and grow your majority in the House. You will be the most powerful president in U.S. history.

Trump: No kidding? You are going to do it again? Thank you so much, Vladdy. You know how grateful I am for what you did in 2016. And to help me again? How can I ever thank you enough?

Putin: You know how, Donny-Boy. Sanctions first, then abandon NATO, and do not pester me when I am acting in our combined national interests. Remember, we have 50 times more nukes between the U.S. and Russia than the entire rest of the world combined. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want and wherever we want. But we must work together.

Trump:  You are right, Vladdy. But there are some, even in the Republican Party, who do not like you or trust you.

Putin: Deal with it Donny-Boy.

Trump: I  will try but…

Putin: Donny-Boy, I still have the Kompromat photos of the Moscow whores.

Trump: But you said…

Putin: And I still have the all the info on the business deals, the casino, the golf courses and the bribes that went with them.

Trump: I understand, Mr. President.

Putin: But also understand that I would not have done what I have done for you for anyone else. You are the smartest, the bravest, the best looking, and the strongest of anyone on this planet…

Trump: Except for you, Mr. President.

Putin: Of course.  I think we fully understand each other. And, oh yes, one other thing. My informants tell me Mueller has the goods. Kill the investigation and destroy the evidence. Do it now! Do you think for one moment that we would allow anything like this to happen in Russia? If you can’t take care of it, we surely can.

Trump: Understood. Will get back to you on this. But rest assured, we have a deal.

 

Meeting concludes with two embraces and three handshakes.

 

 

 

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